The Giver and the Receiver

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive' " (Acts 20:35).

The donor search is underway for an unrelated donor who will graciously give of his or her stem cells to me (if I elect to proceed with a transplant). I have always been a giver my entire life. I live selflessly and always place the needs of others ahead of my own needs and desires. I have spent years of my life dedicated to assisting impoverished, inner-city children and their families. I have always been able to come to the rescue of others and to help people through trying times. As a wife and mother, the needs of my husband and children have most often been placed above any of my personal agendas or goals. This new role of standing on the receiving end of this donor search feels peculiar to me.

I reflect with a degree of sadness that I cannot give the gift of life – through blood, marrow, organ or stem cell donation. My heart has longed to be able to return this favor to someone awaiting a transplant and the same gift of life that I am in need of according to the experts. We have also witnessed our son-in-law’s successful kidney transplant from a generous family who lost someone precious to them.

Today, a part of this changed. As I linger, to potentially receive cells from a matched unrelated donor, my husband joined the team of givers – life giving and life breathing individuals who are part of the National Marrow Donor Program. He is a picture of amazing good health – he has never spent a day in a hospital in his entire life. He does not take even one medication. One day recently he told me that he needed to join the Registry, given how we are brutally aware of how a donor of bone marrow or stem cells can save the life of a cancer patient.

Our long standing marriage is now composed of a new couple – the giver and the receiver - I await possibly receiving a stem cell donation as my husband awaits being the giver of stem cells. We were particularly amused at the movie storyline that could evolve as my husband’s tissue matching results are entered into the National Marrow Donor Registry and my tissue matching results are entered into the National Marrow Donor Registry in search of a match – imagine that genetic collision if he would be my perfect match! The odds are minute that this would ever happen, yet I have had a hearty laugh imagining this movie plot – one that would have Academy Award written all over it. I suppose this happening would truly make us a match made in Heaven!

(I realize several of my leukemia cohorts read my blog and are pondering a transplant – if we receive the call that my husband is a match for one of you – he will be at your service!)