Doctors are not even mentioning the “R Word” (remission) as a possibility to me anymore. One doctor talks about “knocking back the disease”. Another focuses on clearing the leukemia from the marrow enough to regain some marrow function. In their opinions, the leukemia is too entrenched and my immune system is too fractured to utilize the drugs and amounts needed to arrive at a remission.
Since I tend to believe in miracles and I still anticipate a God-breathed remission, I decided it would be healthy to dream about what I will do when I am declared in remission.
1.Run down the street, waving my lab results, shouting, “I am healed. Thank the Lord!” This plan could possibly result in my arrest for disturbing the peace or being ticketed as a public nuisance, but I am game to give it a try!
2.Incinerate wills, funeral plans, my self-written obituary and other preplanning I have done. After all, who really needs preparations like these? When we die, just leave the worrying and planning to someone else.
3.Make reservations for all of the trips and travel I have had to postpone due to infections, treatment, or concerns about my health while traveling. Accumulate frequent flyer meals from travel to intriguing destinations instead of to the National Cancer Institute.
4.Have a bonfire and burn the umpteen file cabinets of medical journals, articles, copies of lab results, and medical receipts.
5.Add about 72 extra hours each week to my schedule after I can cancel all doctors’ appointments, time to battle the insurance company, time to file appeals to receive the treatments I need, to conduct online research, to travel to see specialists and to order/pick-up/refill pills too numerous to count.
6.Dig and plant in the dirt of my flower beds (since I cannot due this to risk of fungal infection); return to practicing my handsprings in the living room (since I had to discontinue my gymnastic exhibitions due to the potential of rupturing my spleen); sleep without pain; live every day without addressing medical concerns; and where a flamingo pink T-shirt everyday that says, "God Healed Me of Cancer!" (with gold bangles and silver sequins).
7.Sign up to be Lil Man’s Nanny until age 18. Although he “might” decide to break the contract at age 10.
8.Tell every person I know about the wonderful gifts of salvation, healing, and hope that my Savior has given to me.
Keep believing with me – all things are possible.
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