A Hairy Situation

I took a giant step for me Tuesday. Since I already had to go out in public for my bone scan (wearing my mask, of course), I decided to make an appointment at the hair salon. Anticipating my trip to the National Cancer Institute (outside of Washington, DC) next week, I went to the hair salon and had several inches of my hair cut off. Not knowing what treatment I will be taking and if it will cause me to lose my hair or not, I decided to give the stylist free reign on what she would do. And cut she did! My hair is probably shorter than it has been in ten years.

In nearly 13 years of living with leukemia, I have never completely lost all of my hair from any treatment. My hair has thinned at times and fallen out in piles; however, I have very thick hair, so no one noticed except for me. Pride and concern about appearance are not the reasons losing my hair even faze me. You can ask about anyone who knows me and even at my sickest points, I just do not look like a very ill person. I am grateful for that. And when a patient loses her hair, people attach the tag “sick” or “cancer” to that person. That is what bothers me the most about hair loss. It is easier for people to believe without doubt when praying for me when I look healthy.

People treat you differently when they know you have cancer. Even without a bald head, I have experienced the wide gamut of personal responses from people. Those who are intensely concerned and who constantly check on me are usually those people who have lost a loved one to cancer or who have had a loved one battle cancer. Others are indifferent and want nothing to do with me. I don’t know if my illness causes them to face their own mortality or makes them decide just to eradicate me from their lives because it is easier than coping with my sickness and hospitalizations.

I recalled a Scripture that I have prayed during past rounds of treatment – “But not a hair of your head shall be lost.” (Luke 21:18) Read in context in the book of Luke, this verse is reminding readers that those who are secure in the Lord will remain safe and unscathed during the end of the ages. The period of tribulation associated with the Rapture of the church from earth to Heaven, will be devastating and daunting. Yet, we are assured as His children that we will not have to endure these trying times of tribulation. Not a hair on our heads will be lost ………

For this time of personal tribulation, I will believe that He will help to preserve my health, my hair, and my hope. He will allow me to look in the mirror and see a woman of health – not illness. He will allow me to look strong and well to my family, not weak and weary, so that their faith and hearts will remain focused and encouraged.