Today I turn 45 years old. This is a milestone that doctors never believed that I would reach. In 1996 when I first became ill, our daughters were 12, 12, and 11. I recall stepping out of our car and the three of them were waiting with my Mom to learn what my bone marrow biopsy report revealed. As if it were yesterday, I can see their faces as I told them, as they met me at our car, that I had leukemia. I can also recall the days following that announcement where we all cried and prayed a lot. I had been given a prognosis of living 3-5 years and I knew that wouldn’t enable me to raise our girls and attend their high school graduations.
The first year after my diagnosis of leukemia was filled with confusion, turmoil, concern, and much prayer. With each slight bump in my white count, I would panic. Each enlarging lymph node seemed to be carrying my death notice. Little by little, I learned to trust God more and depend less and less upon medical science. We traveled to New York and Columbus and Washington, DC hoping to find a cure or a key to a longer life for me. It became apparent as I educated myself about the disease and my file cabinets filled with scientific journal articles, that there was NO cure for this type of leukemia.
Having been a strong-willed and minded person all of my life, that somehow spurred me on and made me resilient and determined that I would trust God even more with my life. That He would be my Healer and my Sustained became my life mantra. Slowly, the fear and panic associated with each doctor’s visit or bone marrow biopsy, subsided. I realized that God was (and is) my only Hope for surviving with this disease.
As the years passed, drug reactions threatened my life on several occasions and my immune system was quickly annihilated by chemotherapy and the disease process. Time in the Intensive Care unit increased. Yet, through Christ’s strength and encouragement, I continued to survive life-threatening infections and complications. I will never forget the night I was in Intensive Care, very ill with pneumonia, and I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal one verse to me that I could embrace. It was around midnight and I opened my Bible to Proverbs 9:11: “For by Me, your days will be multiplied and years added unto your life.”
That Scripture changed my life and my way of thinking about a terminal illness. It instilled in my heart and my mind that no disease, treatment, or infection has the authority to take my life, one day before God ordains. He is multiplying my days and adding years to my life – not medical science, not treatments, and not doctors. God has remained faithful to this verse that was revealed to me in that Intensive Care Unit.
I am the proud mother of three daughters and a grandson. I have attended high school graduations, college graduations, weddings, and the birth of a grandson. I am forever grateful to my Lord and Savior for allowing my life to continue to see this, my 45th Birthday. My husband and I have celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I only desire the simple things of life – a life rich and replete with family, good friends, and memory building.
Although my body is so broken and so full of pain and suffering, I am still able to walk, talk, think, and speak. Life is good and today I celebrate the wonderful years that I have been blessed with to enjoy and savor. Happy Birthday to Me!
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