Father in Heaven,
Thank You for being our Comforter. As we experience so many life calamities all around us, there is nothing the enemy of our souls would like more than to see us wallow in worry. Today, I ask that you renew our minds, refresh our bodies, and give each of us a new lease on life THROUGH YOU.
Forgive us for the times we fail to trust and believe and we allow doubt to creep through the portals of our hearts. We are sorry, Father, for not trusting in You completely with the most difficult life challenges. For nothing is too difficult for You. You alone allow us to triumph through Christ Jesus! (2 Corinthians 2:14). Forgive us for doubting that the God who created the universe might not be able to handle our troubles.
Your Word instructs us: "Therefore I say to you, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on (Luke 12:22)." Help us, Lord, to absorb this command from you NOT TO WORRY ABOUT OUR LIVES. Thank You for being in charge. Thank You for never forsaking Your children. Your ways are always best for us, no matter how they seem to our flesh.
Thank You, Precious Lord, for seeing our tears and hearing our prayers and for uplifting our thoughts and spirits to You. In You Alone we will trust.
In Jesus' Most Powerful Name I pray. AMEN.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Electroacupuncture: The Human Guinea Pig Tries Again
Always being ready and willing to be a human "guinea pig" for the purpose of science, I have begun another Clinical Trial orchestrated by me! Some of you might recall that in January I began taking large doses of Vitamin B3 (after exhaustive research to uncover an answer to my chronic neutropenia) and I have been able to reverse over a year of neutropenia (low infection fighting cells). Daily, expensive Neupogen injections have been replaced with five 500 mg B3 capsules daily. A week of Neupogen would have cost $2800-$3500. A week's worth of Vitamin B3 - around $5.00.
I uncovered a study about a man with the exact leukemia that I have who used electroacupuncture to stimulate his bone marrow and to reverse his anemia (low red cells and/or hemoglobin) and thrombocytopenia (low platelets). Myelosuppression occurs from the treatment of leukemia and/or from the leukemia itself infiltrating the bone marrow where the blood cell lines are produced. Since my leukemia infiltrated bone marrow struggles to produce these blood cells, I decided that this alternative treatment is worth consideration. I asked my trusted family physician (also my acupuncturist) to review this literature and we agreed that it is a worthwhile endeavor.
Today we drew blood so that we can have a baseline reading on all of my counts prior to the electroacupuncture and then I received the first weekly electroacupuncture treatment. Please pray that God might use this very "off-label" treatment to produce miraculous results for me that will confound the best of physicians!
For those of you interested in acupuncture, these points are used in this protocol:
Table 1. Points Used in Electroacupuncture
Point
Name
Function
Peripheral Nerve
Segment
BL11
Dashu
Point of the Sea of Blood
Primary ramus
T1
BL 17
Geshu
Hui-Meeting point of Blood
Primary ramus
T7
LR 3
Tai Chong
Nourishment of Liver Blood
Deep peroneal nerve
L5, S1
SP 6
San Yin Jiao
Three Yin Intersection
Tibial nerve
S1, S23
You might ask what is electroacupuncture? After the acupuncture needles are carefully inserted at the precise points, the needles are manually turned by the physician. Then electric wires are clipped to the needles and wired to other needles. A microcurrent generator releases a continuous cycle of electricity that stimulates the needles.
This particular group of points combined with the electrical current might have been a bit more painful than my normal acupuncture, however, I am willing to try anything that might benefit me.
This study is entitled: Reversal Of Chemotherapy-Induced Myelosuppression With Electroacupuncture by Gerald W. Grass, MD. It was published in the Medical Acupuncture Journal.
I uncovered a study about a man with the exact leukemia that I have who used electroacupuncture to stimulate his bone marrow and to reverse his anemia (low red cells and/or hemoglobin) and thrombocytopenia (low platelets). Myelosuppression occurs from the treatment of leukemia and/or from the leukemia itself infiltrating the bone marrow where the blood cell lines are produced. Since my leukemia infiltrated bone marrow struggles to produce these blood cells, I decided that this alternative treatment is worth consideration. I asked my trusted family physician (also my acupuncturist) to review this literature and we agreed that it is a worthwhile endeavor.
Today we drew blood so that we can have a baseline reading on all of my counts prior to the electroacupuncture and then I received the first weekly electroacupuncture treatment. Please pray that God might use this very "off-label" treatment to produce miraculous results for me that will confound the best of physicians!
For those of you interested in acupuncture, these points are used in this protocol:
Table 1. Points Used in Electroacupuncture
Point
Name
Function
Peripheral Nerve
Segment
BL11
Dashu
Point of the Sea of Blood
Primary ramus
T1
BL 17
Geshu
Hui-Meeting point of Blood
Primary ramus
T7
LR 3
Tai Chong
Nourishment of Liver Blood
Deep peroneal nerve
L5, S1
SP 6
San Yin Jiao
Three Yin Intersection
Tibial nerve
S1, S23
You might ask what is electroacupuncture? After the acupuncture needles are carefully inserted at the precise points, the needles are manually turned by the physician. Then electric wires are clipped to the needles and wired to other needles. A microcurrent generator releases a continuous cycle of electricity that stimulates the needles.
This particular group of points combined with the electrical current might have been a bit more painful than my normal acupuncture, however, I am willing to try anything that might benefit me.
This study is entitled: Reversal Of Chemotherapy-Induced Myelosuppression With Electroacupuncture by Gerald W. Grass, MD. It was published in the Medical Acupuncture Journal.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
18 Months Old!
Eighteen months ago, a tiny, helpless grand baby would visit. He drank milk, produced diapers in need of changing, fussed a bit, and slept. That pretty much summarized his early days and weeks. When I began my services as his Nanny, he was six weeks old. Still the milk drinking, diaper dirtying, sleeping and a few more wakeful hours comprised our days together. Day by day, week by week, Lil Man began grabbing pieces of Grammy's heart. On his birth date, I never dreamed I could love him anymore than that moment when our eyes first locked, however, I was wrong. Very wrong.
Eighteen months of life as a Grammy have passed. My health permitting, I have cared for Lil Man five days a week while his parents work. The days and adventures with Lil Man could compose journals full of memories, milestones, and the deep love I have for him. Some days I write in his journal - love words that will remain for him to read long after I am gone. Other days, I post on my blog about him. When he is computer literate, he will be able to return to Grammy's blog, over and over, and be reintroduced to me each time, even if my physical life is no longer a part of his life. Most precious to me are the songs that my heart sings each time he kisses me, makes me chuckle, or cuddles in my arms.
New words and attempts at words surprise us daily. It is amazing to be able to communicate with words to Lil Man. He understands most commands and yesterday as I (mindlessly) sang the Veggie Tale song, "Oh, Where is My Hairbrush?", he ran to my vanity and returned with my two hairbrushes for me! He knew where Grammy's hairbrushes were. Bob (The Tomato) of Veggie Tales is a new favorite and Lil Man plants himself in his miniature leather club chair to watch his newly found friends!
I lay down at night, exhausted. My body is challenged from battling so many health problems yet God somehow, someway, grants me just enough strength for each day to continue my Nanny duties. These eighteen months have passed quickly and I pray that God will bless me with many more days and years to share with not only Lil Man but also the rest of my precious family.
Happy 18 Month Birthday, Lil Man!
Eighteen months of life as a Grammy have passed. My health permitting, I have cared for Lil Man five days a week while his parents work. The days and adventures with Lil Man could compose journals full of memories, milestones, and the deep love I have for him. Some days I write in his journal - love words that will remain for him to read long after I am gone. Other days, I post on my blog about him. When he is computer literate, he will be able to return to Grammy's blog, over and over, and be reintroduced to me each time, even if my physical life is no longer a part of his life. Most precious to me are the songs that my heart sings each time he kisses me, makes me chuckle, or cuddles in my arms.
New words and attempts at words surprise us daily. It is amazing to be able to communicate with words to Lil Man. He understands most commands and yesterday as I (mindlessly) sang the Veggie Tale song, "Oh, Where is My Hairbrush?", he ran to my vanity and returned with my two hairbrushes for me! He knew where Grammy's hairbrushes were. Bob (The Tomato) of Veggie Tales is a new favorite and Lil Man plants himself in his miniature leather club chair to watch his newly found friends!
I lay down at night, exhausted. My body is challenged from battling so many health problems yet God somehow, someway, grants me just enough strength for each day to continue my Nanny duties. These eighteen months have passed quickly and I pray that God will bless me with many more days and years to share with not only Lil Man but also the rest of my precious family.
Happy 18 Month Birthday, Lil Man!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
20,000 Visitors
Tonight, the 20,000th visitor to my blog visited. I am amazed at technology that enables readers from around the world to locate and browse blog. Even more amazing is to consider the number of prayers that have been offered on my behalf through the prayer requests and updates posted here. I hope, in turn, that readers have been encouraged or uplifted by God's Word that I have posted. I pray that lives are changed and encouraged by the sharing of His awesomeness through my humble words and testimonies. Perhaps the lyrics to a song have uplifted your spirits. We've shared a few laughs, many tears, and almost two years of this fourteen year cancer expedition. I only wish that I had blogged sooner.
My original (and continued) purpose of this blog was to leave a written account of my life, my challenges, and the Source of Hope for my family and friends when I move onto my Heavenly residence. That original purpose expanded as I realized that readers were checking in from all around the globe. And with that new audience outside of family and friends, I write with these purposes - to introduce others to the God of the Universe and to share His hope and plan of salvation for each man, woman and child.
We are encouraged in 1 Thessalonians 4:18: "Therefore comfort one another with these words." While my words in no way compare to the anointed, God breathed words of the Bible, it remains my prayer that the words I type on this blog will uplift, comfort, and encourage each one who reads them.
My original (and continued) purpose of this blog was to leave a written account of my life, my challenges, and the Source of Hope for my family and friends when I move onto my Heavenly residence. That original purpose expanded as I realized that readers were checking in from all around the globe. And with that new audience outside of family and friends, I write with these purposes - to introduce others to the God of the Universe and to share His hope and plan of salvation for each man, woman and child.
We are encouraged in 1 Thessalonians 4:18: "Therefore comfort one another with these words." While my words in no way compare to the anointed, God breathed words of the Bible, it remains my prayer that the words I type on this blog will uplift, comfort, and encourage each one who reads them.
Hope
Hope. Where would we be without it? I uncovered a song today by Natalie Grant - Our Hope Endures. My mind cannot fathom walking this cancer journey without the Hope from our Father. All would be lost without Him. Death would not hold the promise of eternal life awaiting me. Hope for a cure when medical science says there is no cure would be impossible.
Some of my favorite Scriptures about hope include:
Psalm 31:24
Be of good courage,And He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 119:114
You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Please take a moment to listen to the lyrics of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg6b5T7I6VE&feature=related
Some of my favorite Scriptures about hope include:
Psalm 31:24
Be of good courage,And He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 119:114
You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.
Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.
Please take a moment to listen to the lyrics of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg6b5T7I6VE&feature=related
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Update & Request for Prayer: February 26, 2010
I have hesitated to post much lately. There has been much going on with my health challenges. The stomach virus of early February took almost three weeks to completely resolve. That, in turn, fouled up my metabolic panel and electrolytes. My doctor said we were very fortunate we managed that infection as an outpatient. After taking prescription potassium, etc. my metabolic panel has improved at last.
I saw the doctor on Wednesday. I had been coughing, had ear pain, and other symptoms for a couple of days. I have been running a temperature since Tuesday. The doctor said I have fluid in my ears and my chest has congestion.Yesterday, I had chest pains throughout the day. Today I had a chest x-ray and it did not reveal any pneumonia.
Most concerning are my CBC results. I didn't report last week when I had a decline in my neutrophil count (after it being normal since I began using the Vitamin B3). I had missed over 50 percent of the doses the week or so before the last CBC due to the stomach virus induced nausea causing it to be impossible to keep all of my medicines down. We were hopeful that it was a minor blip of my ANC and that this week it would recover (as I increased to my previous B3 dose).
Unfortunately, I am neutropenic again this week. We held on the Neupogen until we rechecked the neutrophils today. I do not yet have those results.
My doctor does suspect that I may not be absorbing nutrients - additional testing is in order to determine if this is the cause. I hope that malabsorption is not a new problem, but it would explain why iron, B3 and D3 supplementations are struggling to benefit me.
My platelets dropped by over 20,000 in one week. They are at 70,000 (normal 130,000 to 400,000). As I drove home after my doctor's appointment and acupuncture, my back felt strange. When I got home, Kevin looked and I had a hematoma and my back was bleeding from one of the acupuncture needles. I knew then that my platelets must have declined as I have never had this problem before with acupuncture needles.
Despite two weeks' worth of prescription iron, my hemoglobin is not budging from its new "home" at 9.0 (normal 12-16). No wonder I am tired all of the time .......
The nerve damage in my lower right leg/foot continues to worsen and as soon as I am able, I am to be fitted for a new brace to try out to see if it improves my stability and the loss of muscle control in that leg/foot.
Please pray.
I saw the doctor on Wednesday. I had been coughing, had ear pain, and other symptoms for a couple of days. I have been running a temperature since Tuesday. The doctor said I have fluid in my ears and my chest has congestion.Yesterday, I had chest pains throughout the day. Today I had a chest x-ray and it did not reveal any pneumonia.
Most concerning are my CBC results. I didn't report last week when I had a decline in my neutrophil count (after it being normal since I began using the Vitamin B3). I had missed over 50 percent of the doses the week or so before the last CBC due to the stomach virus induced nausea causing it to be impossible to keep all of my medicines down. We were hopeful that it was a minor blip of my ANC and that this week it would recover (as I increased to my previous B3 dose).
Unfortunately, I am neutropenic again this week. We held on the Neupogen until we rechecked the neutrophils today. I do not yet have those results.
My doctor does suspect that I may not be absorbing nutrients - additional testing is in order to determine if this is the cause. I hope that malabsorption is not a new problem, but it would explain why iron, B3 and D3 supplementations are struggling to benefit me.
My platelets dropped by over 20,000 in one week. They are at 70,000 (normal 130,000 to 400,000). As I drove home after my doctor's appointment and acupuncture, my back felt strange. When I got home, Kevin looked and I had a hematoma and my back was bleeding from one of the acupuncture needles. I knew then that my platelets must have declined as I have never had this problem before with acupuncture needles.
Despite two weeks' worth of prescription iron, my hemoglobin is not budging from its new "home" at 9.0 (normal 12-16). No wonder I am tired all of the time .......
The nerve damage in my lower right leg/foot continues to worsen and as soon as I am able, I am to be fitted for a new brace to try out to see if it improves my stability and the loss of muscle control in that leg/foot.
Please pray.
Friday, February 12, 2010
An Update & Praise for February 12, 2010
The stomach villain continued to strike after my last update. My husband, daughter, son-in-law, and mom all succumbed to this virus. Fortunately, everyone is recovering and all of us hope that this virus takes up residence elsewhere, for a very long time.
I have reported on my discovery of some research that suggested that Vitamin B3 could improve neutrophil counts. For my regular readers, you know that for nearly a year I have battled neutropenia and required frequent injections of Neupogen to improve these counts and my body's ability to fight infection.
Since beginning the fairly high doses of Vitamin B3, my neutropenia has disappeared! I have not required Neupogen injections for over two weeks now! Sometimes science ignores the simple, safe, inexpensive solutions to very complicated problems. My $5.00 bottle of Vitamin B3 will last for about ten days. Ten days worth of Neupogen injections cost $4500.00. I doubt that big pharmaceutical will embrace this research since no profit is to be gained from a simple Vitamin B3 capsule.
For today, I am rejoicing. I praise God for directing me to this research. I thank Him for giving me a safe, affordable solution to a very serious problem. Neutropenia can open the door to life-threatening infections. For today, God has utilized Vitamin B3 to slam the door on those lurking infections and has enforced and enlarged my army of neutrophils. Thanks, God, You are a great friend!
I have reported on my discovery of some research that suggested that Vitamin B3 could improve neutrophil counts. For my regular readers, you know that for nearly a year I have battled neutropenia and required frequent injections of Neupogen to improve these counts and my body's ability to fight infection.
Since beginning the fairly high doses of Vitamin B3, my neutropenia has disappeared! I have not required Neupogen injections for over two weeks now! Sometimes science ignores the simple, safe, inexpensive solutions to very complicated problems. My $5.00 bottle of Vitamin B3 will last for about ten days. Ten days worth of Neupogen injections cost $4500.00. I doubt that big pharmaceutical will embrace this research since no profit is to be gained from a simple Vitamin B3 capsule.
For today, I am rejoicing. I praise God for directing me to this research. I thank Him for giving me a safe, affordable solution to a very serious problem. Neutropenia can open the door to life-threatening infections. For today, God has utilized Vitamin B3 to slam the door on those lurking infections and has enforced and enlarged my army of neutrophils. Thanks, God, You are a great friend!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Snow Bunny
The little snow bunny turns 17 months old! Today is frigid and snowy - and even Lil Man knows how much his Grammy loves the snow. With a break in the snow showers, I bundled him up in his snow suit, mittens and coat and off we went into the wild blue yonder. We decided to celebrate his birthday with his first sledding trip down the big hill. With Lil Man's great grandparents as onlookers, I sat him on my lap, crossed my leg and away we went on the saucer sled. His big brown eyes grew even bigger as the snow licked his face on the ride down the hill. Great Grandpa and Grandma even took their turns down the icy slope. This same hill had welcomed my winter trips as a child and then the sledding parties of our own daughters. Another generation made his maiden voyage today on his 17 month birthday! In the words of Lil Man, "Brrrrrr!"
He loves snow - he calls it "balls", I interpret that as his shortened version of snowballs! Whenever it snows, I gather a plastic bowl of snow for him and bring it inside. We form little "balls" and make miniature snowmen. Then Lil Man takes a few frigid bites of snow and his tongue tingles with cold. And the snow slowly melts before our eyes.
I told Lil Man that we are true Olympians now - trained and ready to join the US bobsled team for the upcoming Vancouver Olympics! I am certain he would win a gold medal because everything he does is so perfect in the opinion of his Grammy!
Happy 17 month Birthday, Lil Man! Grammy loves you.
He loves snow - he calls it "balls", I interpret that as his shortened version of snowballs! Whenever it snows, I gather a plastic bowl of snow for him and bring it inside. We form little "balls" and make miniature snowmen. Then Lil Man takes a few frigid bites of snow and his tongue tingles with cold. And the snow slowly melts before our eyes.
I told Lil Man that we are true Olympians now - trained and ready to join the US bobsled team for the upcoming Vancouver Olympics! I am certain he would win a gold medal because everything he does is so perfect in the opinion of his Grammy!
Happy 17 month Birthday, Lil Man! Grammy loves you.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
An Update & Request for Prayer: February 4, 2010
The stomach virus struck with a vengeance this week. Four family members, including yours truly, have fallen victims. Please pray as I have lost 8 pounds in two days and have not been able to eat or drink since Tuesday.
We have debated if the benefits of being admitted to the hospital for IV hydration would outweigh the risks of exposure to other hospital germs. I am walking a tightrope right now, trying to regain strength and not become severely dehydrated as I battle the bug while still at home. I had some UTI symptoms overnight, so I am waiting on the results of a urine culture.
We have debated if the benefits of being admitted to the hospital for IV hydration would outweigh the risks of exposure to other hospital germs. I am walking a tightrope right now, trying to regain strength and not become severely dehydrated as I battle the bug while still at home. I had some UTI symptoms overnight, so I am waiting on the results of a urine culture.
Monday, February 1, 2010
An Update & Request for Prayer: February 1, 2010
I have always pondered how much pain the human body can endure and I think I might have reached my limit overnight. I was up crying all night. In addition to the "normal" pain from my enlarged spleen/herniated discs/and leukemia packed vertebrae and hips, the lower right leg and foot pain (nerve damaged from herniated disc) peaked.
I have foot drop (dorsiflexion) from the nerve damage from the herniated discs from the steroid use for the leukemia. Isn't it amazing the downward spiral a drug or condition can throw the human body into?
The doctor told me last night week that I was losing one group of muscles in my lower leg. On Sunday morning, my foot locked in the "dropped" position when I awoke -toe pointed out - and Kevin had to literally snap it back into place. Overnight that continued and the foot began twisting sideways in contorted cramps.
Today, my doctor strongly recommended that I make my decision on what pain medicine I am going to begin. It is a battle to select one with my past history of anaphylaxis and complications with NSAIDs and codeine and morphine rashes. She recommended Fentynyl or Oxycontin.
I will have a CBC tomorrow to see if I require Neupogen. It is the first full week I have gone without an injection while on the Vitamin B3 - I think it will be telling if the B3 has improved the neutropenia.
The fevers continue. We are rotating some drugs around for the (assumed) sinus infection. If temperatures do not stop in a few days, I will have to go to Indy to the ENT for a scope to obtain sterile cultures.
I awoke with an infection in my right eye - the doctor prescribed Tobramycin eye drops.
An MRI on my lower leg/foot, a check of my magnesium levels, and a possible pain management consultation are all possibilities on the ever-growing Medical To Do list.
Last week, my unrelenting research uncovered a new drug being studied in very early clinical trials that might benefit me. ISF35 is an immunotherapy drug - thus, it shouldn't induce more immune suppression for me. Cells are removed from my own body, manipulated in the laboratory and reinfused into my body in an attempt to prompt my immune system to attack the leukemia.
Two end-stage patients have received minimal residual disease negative (MRD-) remissions (deepest remission with this type of leukemia) with this drug. Unfortunately, the two current trials are in California and Texas - both requiring a great deal of cumbersome travel. Today I heard from a Memgen executive (pharmaceutical company where ISF35 is produced). He told me that more funding has been received for ISF35 trials and more ISF35 trials will open -perhaps one in Indianapolis in late spring. God knows best what I need.
Thank you for your prayers. I don't know if I can make it through another night like last night on my own strength - but I can with God's strength and comfort!
I have foot drop (dorsiflexion) from the nerve damage from the herniated discs from the steroid use for the leukemia. Isn't it amazing the downward spiral a drug or condition can throw the human body into?
The doctor told me last night week that I was losing one group of muscles in my lower leg. On Sunday morning, my foot locked in the "dropped" position when I awoke -toe pointed out - and Kevin had to literally snap it back into place. Overnight that continued and the foot began twisting sideways in contorted cramps.
Today, my doctor strongly recommended that I make my decision on what pain medicine I am going to begin. It is a battle to select one with my past history of anaphylaxis and complications with NSAIDs and codeine and morphine rashes. She recommended Fentynyl or Oxycontin.
I will have a CBC tomorrow to see if I require Neupogen. It is the first full week I have gone without an injection while on the Vitamin B3 - I think it will be telling if the B3 has improved the neutropenia.
The fevers continue. We are rotating some drugs around for the (assumed) sinus infection. If temperatures do not stop in a few days, I will have to go to Indy to the ENT for a scope to obtain sterile cultures.
I awoke with an infection in my right eye - the doctor prescribed Tobramycin eye drops.
An MRI on my lower leg/foot, a check of my magnesium levels, and a possible pain management consultation are all possibilities on the ever-growing Medical To Do list.
Last week, my unrelenting research uncovered a new drug being studied in very early clinical trials that might benefit me. ISF35 is an immunotherapy drug - thus, it shouldn't induce more immune suppression for me. Cells are removed from my own body, manipulated in the laboratory and reinfused into my body in an attempt to prompt my immune system to attack the leukemia.
Two end-stage patients have received minimal residual disease negative (MRD-) remissions (deepest remission with this type of leukemia) with this drug. Unfortunately, the two current trials are in California and Texas - both requiring a great deal of cumbersome travel. Today I heard from a Memgen executive (pharmaceutical company where ISF35 is produced). He told me that more funding has been received for ISF35 trials and more ISF35 trials will open -perhaps one in Indianapolis in late spring. God knows best what I need.
Thank you for your prayers. I don't know if I can make it through another night like last night on my own strength - but I can with God's strength and comfort!
Friday, January 29, 2010
"My Best Days Are Ahead of Me!"
The new Danny Gokey song,"My Best Days are Ahead of Me" is full of encouragement and reminders for us to keep looking for better tomorrows. Gokey, a former American Idol, had lost his young wife shortly before the last season of American Idol. His faith walk was obvious throughout the season of Idol and he always received my votes. I hope you will enjoy this song as much as I have. It is a good reminder for all of us and what a statement of faith: "Our best days are head of us!"
You Tube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMoS2tb4R7s
An Update & Request for Prayer: January 29, 2010
I have been away from the blog for too long. I am reminded when friends e-mail me to confirm I am not in the hospital (aka "the slammer") that it is time to update the blog. It has been a trying week or so. In the natural realm, I see my body crumbling, yet I continue to trust in Him to sustain me. I return over and over to Romans 4:
"God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did; who, contrary to hope, in hope believed, so that he became the father of many nations, according to what was spoken, “So shall your descendants be.” And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah’s womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore “it was accounted to him for righteousness.”
I need Him to give me (and my other leukemia cohorts) LIFE. We need the faith to call those things which do not exist (remission/cure) as though they did. I don't want to grow weak in faith or consider "my own body". We must not waiver at God's promises! And may He overcome our own doubts and fears so that we are strengthened in faith! I believe there are so many spiritual clues for us in this passage.
Yesterday, I spent over two hours at the doctor. I have had fevers off and on all week and we continue to be baffled. We restarted another antibiotic with the assumption it is the sinuses causing the fever. Although difficult to discern, the leukemia itself can cause fevers.
The doctor wanted a urine sample and it contained blood so she sent it onto the hospital laboratory for culturing. Gram negative rods (bacteria) grew out on culture, yet the count was more reflective of a contaminant.
I am having shortness of breath and the doctor said my iron levels are now dangerously low, in addition to a low hemoglobin (oxygen carrying blood component). The doctor said I need weekly IV iron infusions, however, "normal" people have serious reactions to iron and she believes it is too risky for me (with my drug reaction history) to try the IV iron infusions. My doctor wrote an appeal letter to the insurance to seek coverage on a prescription iron formula that might benefit me. My blood pressure was also low today.
I was just above the threshold of needing another Neupogen injection (Kevin gave me one on Wednesday). All CBC results were abnormal.
My doctor at the NIH e-mailed me with preliminary findings of their review of my MRI's. It appears that the marrow has been replaced by the leukemia and no normal marrow signals could be found in my vertebrae and hips. My estimation is that a great deal of my pain is coming from this marrow infiltration.
My spleen and lymph nodes have enlarged. My spleen tip is now back below my belly button (how is that for a medical term). I wasn't surprised about the spleen because I have not been able to sleep on my left side this week due to the spleen pain. It doesn't appear that the $160,000 worth of Rituxan treatments last summer gave me much "bang for my bucks"!
My toenail has been damaged from the nerve damage in my foot/leg/back. It had to be removed last night. I didn't want any more chemicals in my body, so I passed on the anesthetic. My daughter said, "Are you nuts, Mom?" That is quite possible .......
I have barely been able to keep going this week, so I initiated a discussion about Provigil or Ritalin to try to improve my strength. It has been used for fatigue in cancer patients (off-label). My doctor is going to do some research to see if either drug is one that I might be able to tolerate.
I have been reviewing a new treatment that is being studied in Phase 1 clinical trials. The agent is known as ISF35 - it is an immunotherapy treatment that will not further damage the immune system. Two end stage patients, like myself, achieved complete Minimal Residual Disease (negative) remissions. This is the deepest level of remission achievable by patients with my type of leukemia. Please pray that this agent will prove to be successful and will advance quickly through the clinical trial process. Currently, the drug is available only at the University of California San Diego and MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. I don't know that I could endure the travel required for the trials. I see glimmers of hope in this drug. May God offer wisdom to these researchers and allow this to be a possible treatment that could benefit me. It is being administered either via IV or as injections into the lymph nodes.
Which reminds me of a funny experience. Early into my leukemia journey, I researched a Canadian drug that was being studied in leukemia. It had to be injected into the lymph nodes in the groin - very, very s-l-o-w-l-y. Always the open minded guinea pig, eager to whip leukemia into the next universe, I decided to give this drug a try. We ordered it from Canada and my Mom was trained to administer the injections. Before the injections, an ice pack was to be placed on the groin to help numb the area. The needle had to be held in the lymph node and the medication dripped in over 7-10 minutes. My ice pack must have been TOO cold and I emerged with a dandy case of frost bite to the groin area. I went to the doctor and she diagnosed the frost bite and said that might be a medical first. Such is life as a human guinea pig..... I am pretty open to novel therapeutic options and perhaps God will open a door for me to this new ISF35 drug.
Thanks for your continued prayers!
"God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did; who, contrary to hope, in hope believed, so that he became the father of many nations, according to what was spoken, “So shall your descendants be.” And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah’s womb. He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore “it was accounted to him for righteousness.”
I need Him to give me (and my other leukemia cohorts) LIFE. We need the faith to call those things which do not exist (remission/cure) as though they did. I don't want to grow weak in faith or consider "my own body". We must not waiver at God's promises! And may He overcome our own doubts and fears so that we are strengthened in faith! I believe there are so many spiritual clues for us in this passage.
Yesterday, I spent over two hours at the doctor. I have had fevers off and on all week and we continue to be baffled. We restarted another antibiotic with the assumption it is the sinuses causing the fever. Although difficult to discern, the leukemia itself can cause fevers.
The doctor wanted a urine sample and it contained blood so she sent it onto the hospital laboratory for culturing. Gram negative rods (bacteria) grew out on culture, yet the count was more reflective of a contaminant.
I am having shortness of breath and the doctor said my iron levels are now dangerously low, in addition to a low hemoglobin (oxygen carrying blood component). The doctor said I need weekly IV iron infusions, however, "normal" people have serious reactions to iron and she believes it is too risky for me (with my drug reaction history) to try the IV iron infusions. My doctor wrote an appeal letter to the insurance to seek coverage on a prescription iron formula that might benefit me. My blood pressure was also low today.
I was just above the threshold of needing another Neupogen injection (Kevin gave me one on Wednesday). All CBC results were abnormal.
My doctor at the NIH e-mailed me with preliminary findings of their review of my MRI's. It appears that the marrow has been replaced by the leukemia and no normal marrow signals could be found in my vertebrae and hips. My estimation is that a great deal of my pain is coming from this marrow infiltration.
My spleen and lymph nodes have enlarged. My spleen tip is now back below my belly button (how is that for a medical term). I wasn't surprised about the spleen because I have not been able to sleep on my left side this week due to the spleen pain. It doesn't appear that the $160,000 worth of Rituxan treatments last summer gave me much "bang for my bucks"!
My toenail has been damaged from the nerve damage in my foot/leg/back. It had to be removed last night. I didn't want any more chemicals in my body, so I passed on the anesthetic. My daughter said, "Are you nuts, Mom?" That is quite possible .......
I have barely been able to keep going this week, so I initiated a discussion about Provigil or Ritalin to try to improve my strength. It has been used for fatigue in cancer patients (off-label). My doctor is going to do some research to see if either drug is one that I might be able to tolerate.
I have been reviewing a new treatment that is being studied in Phase 1 clinical trials. The agent is known as ISF35 - it is an immunotherapy treatment that will not further damage the immune system. Two end stage patients, like myself, achieved complete Minimal Residual Disease (negative) remissions. This is the deepest level of remission achievable by patients with my type of leukemia. Please pray that this agent will prove to be successful and will advance quickly through the clinical trial process. Currently, the drug is available only at the University of California San Diego and MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. I don't know that I could endure the travel required for the trials. I see glimmers of hope in this drug. May God offer wisdom to these researchers and allow this to be a possible treatment that could benefit me. It is being administered either via IV or as injections into the lymph nodes.
Which reminds me of a funny experience. Early into my leukemia journey, I researched a Canadian drug that was being studied in leukemia. It had to be injected into the lymph nodes in the groin - very, very s-l-o-w-l-y. Always the open minded guinea pig, eager to whip leukemia into the next universe, I decided to give this drug a try. We ordered it from Canada and my Mom was trained to administer the injections. Before the injections, an ice pack was to be placed on the groin to help numb the area. The needle had to be held in the lymph node and the medication dripped in over 7-10 minutes. My ice pack must have been TOO cold and I emerged with a dandy case of frost bite to the groin area. I went to the doctor and she diagnosed the frost bite and said that might be a medical first. Such is life as a human guinea pig..... I am pretty open to novel therapeutic options and perhaps God will open a door for me to this new ISF35 drug.
Thanks for your continued prayers!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
What Do I Know of Holy?
Holy is defined as "devoted entirely to the Deity or the work of the Deity". The lyrics of this Addison Road's song, "What Do I Know of Holy" reverberate though my soul. The only means for us to "know holy" is to spend time in God's Word and in His presence. Only there can we learn how to hear His voice through the Holy Spirit or how and why we should fear God. Strolling through life, occupied by the trappings of this world, will never, ever allow us to "know holy". Only through His Word and the Holy Spirit operating in our lives are we able to know Him when He speaks.
The lyrics also impart to us the truth that so many people know something "about" God yet do not KNOW GOD. Head knowledge of a few Bible stories from childhood or a casual glimpse at the words of the Bible are not all that is required to be saved or to know Him. We only can know God in His entirety when we spend time worshipping Him, praying to Him, spending time in His presence, and studying His Word. Once we do these things, we catch "that glimpse of who He might be" and that is life transforming. When that occurs, our hearts become tender toward Him. We do not want to dishonor Him. We do not want to bring grief to Him.
I rejoice that He transformed my life and I have savored a taste of His holiness. He is the Lion of Judah, roaring with fire and fury against the one who turns from Him and He is the Lamb of God, tender and beautiful to His children.
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
LISTEN TO THIS SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6J5TzSE_18
The lyrics also impart to us the truth that so many people know something "about" God yet do not KNOW GOD. Head knowledge of a few Bible stories from childhood or a casual glimpse at the words of the Bible are not all that is required to be saved or to know Him. We only can know God in His entirety when we spend time worshipping Him, praying to Him, spending time in His presence, and studying His Word. Once we do these things, we catch "that glimpse of who He might be" and that is life transforming. When that occurs, our hearts become tender toward Him. We do not want to dishonor Him. We do not want to bring grief to Him.
I rejoice that He transformed my life and I have savored a taste of His holiness. He is the Lion of Judah, roaring with fire and fury against the one who turns from Him and He is the Lamb of God, tender and beautiful to His children.
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
LISTEN TO THIS SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6J5TzSE_18
Friday, January 15, 2010
For Reflection
He asked for strength that he might achieve; he was made weak that he may obey.
He asked for health that he might do greater things; he was given infirmity that he might do better things.
He asked for riches that he might be happy; he was given poverty that he might be wise.
He asked for power that he might have the praise of men; he was given weakness that he might feel the need of God.
He asked for all things that he might enjoy life; he was given life that he might enjoy all things.
--Author Unknown
He asked for health that he might do greater things; he was given infirmity that he might do better things.
He asked for riches that he might be happy; he was given poverty that he might be wise.
He asked for power that he might have the praise of men; he was given weakness that he might feel the need of God.
He asked for all things that he might enjoy life; he was given life that he might enjoy all things.
--Author Unknown
Thursday, January 14, 2010
An Update & Request for Prayer: January 14, 2010
Please continue praying. I have been very sick (you might have guessed that since I hadn't updated the blog). I saw the doctor Tuesday - on top of everything else, our family dog's claw scratched my arm. The doctor was concerned since I am immune compromised. She ordered it cleaned by Hibaclense and Bactroban slathered on it with the order to go to the hospital if it reddened or temperature worsened (difficult to discern temperature when I already had been running one since Sunday).
I felt poorly yesterday and my temperature increased, so I called the doctor. Blood had been coming out of my sinuses all day, so she was inclined to think that the fever and feeling so poorly is more sinus infection related than wound related. I added Biaxin and Tobramycin (2 additional antibiotics).
The doctor drew labs - everything single item on the CBC was in abnormal ranges yesterday - and I am very neutropenic again. I cannot go much longer than 3 days without Neupogen injections and then I am neutropenic again. Mom gave me my Neupogen injection as soon as the doctor e-mailed me. I had uncovered a study using Vitamin B3 to assist with neutropenia. My wonderful doctor located a source of it for me and I started that on Tuesday. We are hopeful that this will work for me and eliminate the need for all of these very expensive (and not without risks) treatment.
In addition, I take very large doses of Vitamin D3 (15000-up IU daily). On last week's labs, the level came back very low despite this dose (and I had been able to increase the level on the past tests). Now, she suspects that my GI tract is not absorbing nutrients. There is a test she wants for that but I just cannot cope with anything else right now.
I continue losing blood and ask your prayers for this since I am already anemic from the leukemia, this blood loss only worsens that. I don't want to have to receive a transfusion since the blood must be irradiated, leukodepleted and washed and that complicates things for me. If the bleeding does not stop, I will have to have a uterine ablation - a surgical procedure that we would rather avoid with low platelets and neutrophils.
Last night I walked and cried from the pain and feeling so poorly until 3 AM. This evening, I am beginning to see some decline in the fever and feel a bit better.
Next week, I will receive my IVIG treatment all day on Monday and I will see the Infectious Disease specialist in Indianapolis on Thursday. Please pray that all goes well with the IVIG and that I can see improvement, hour by hour, with the other concerns.
I felt poorly yesterday and my temperature increased, so I called the doctor. Blood had been coming out of my sinuses all day, so she was inclined to think that the fever and feeling so poorly is more sinus infection related than wound related. I added Biaxin and Tobramycin (2 additional antibiotics).
The doctor drew labs - everything single item on the CBC was in abnormal ranges yesterday - and I am very neutropenic again. I cannot go much longer than 3 days without Neupogen injections and then I am neutropenic again. Mom gave me my Neupogen injection as soon as the doctor e-mailed me. I had uncovered a study using Vitamin B3 to assist with neutropenia. My wonderful doctor located a source of it for me and I started that on Tuesday. We are hopeful that this will work for me and eliminate the need for all of these very expensive (and not without risks) treatment.
In addition, I take very large doses of Vitamin D3 (15000-up IU daily). On last week's labs, the level came back very low despite this dose (and I had been able to increase the level on the past tests). Now, she suspects that my GI tract is not absorbing nutrients. There is a test she wants for that but I just cannot cope with anything else right now.
I continue losing blood and ask your prayers for this since I am already anemic from the leukemia, this blood loss only worsens that. I don't want to have to receive a transfusion since the blood must be irradiated, leukodepleted and washed and that complicates things for me. If the bleeding does not stop, I will have to have a uterine ablation - a surgical procedure that we would rather avoid with low platelets and neutrophils.
Last night I walked and cried from the pain and feeling so poorly until 3 AM. This evening, I am beginning to see some decline in the fever and feel a bit better.
Next week, I will receive my IVIG treatment all day on Monday and I will see the Infectious Disease specialist in Indianapolis on Thursday. Please pray that all goes well with the IVIG and that I can see improvement, hour by hour, with the other concerns.
Loss of a Family Fur-Friend
Our family was saddened to lose a dear companion - our cat Holly Lynn. Our then small daughters (2nd and 1st grades) begged and pleaded for a cat, almost nineteen years ago. One day the school principal came over the intercom and announced to the students if anyone was interested in a kitten, to contact him. Three excited brown-haired little girls ran off the school bus with the news they had found their kitten! Since we picked her up shortly after Christmas, the girls named her Holly.Holly lived with us until our oldest daughter married and Holly moved with them. She has been a loving companion to our family and we will sorely miss her. On Tuesday evening, she worsened and could barely stand. We met our twin daughters at the animal hospital and she was in kidney failure and failing quickly. The veterinarian recommended that we put her to sleep, given her age and the severity of her health status. And on that cold, snowy night we brought our beloved kitty home for the last time.
Last night we held her funeral. My husband built her a kitty coffin and we buried her wrapped up with her Ocean Whitefish cat food and other favorite treasures. We buried her in our flower garden with our beloved Golden Retriever who passed away four years ago next week. It is amazing the grip that our fur-friends have on our hearts. Holly, you will be missed by your loving family. Hope to see you in Heaven!
A Prayer for Today: January 14,2010
Precious Lord,
On this day, riddled with disaster and death in Haiti, and great suffering around all of us, remind us to praise You. The spirit of praise will lift the burden of heaviness in our hearts. You long to hear the praises of Your people. May each of us offer You words of thanksgiving and praise today (without looking at life circumstances).
Forgive us of our sins. I know that the practices of voodoo and other false religions are rampant in Haiti. And I know Your Word teaches us that ALL things can work together for GOOD for those Who LOVE you and are called according to Your purpose - open the blinded eyes of those in Haiti who have not known You. In the midst of disaster, draw these broken, hurting people unto You. Let each one seek You and Your gift of salvation. To see a nation saved for Your Kingdom and glory would make it all worth the suffering.
Do not let us give up our Hope in You, Father. Nothing is impossible - plant that truth deep in our spirits. Grant a special touch and measure of healing to those who are suffering in their bodies. Let our focus never rest on disease and disasters, let our focus always rest on You and Your Promises. When the world literally shakes to its core, let us not be shaken by anything that comes our way. We will love You and Praise You forever, dear Father.
In Jesus' Name I pray. AMEN. In Jesus' Mighty Name I pray. AMEN.
On this day, riddled with disaster and death in Haiti, and great suffering around all of us, remind us to praise You. The spirit of praise will lift the burden of heaviness in our hearts. You long to hear the praises of Your people. May each of us offer You words of thanksgiving and praise today (without looking at life circumstances).
Forgive us of our sins. I know that the practices of voodoo and other false religions are rampant in Haiti. And I know Your Word teaches us that ALL things can work together for GOOD for those Who LOVE you and are called according to Your purpose - open the blinded eyes of those in Haiti who have not known You. In the midst of disaster, draw these broken, hurting people unto You. Let each one seek You and Your gift of salvation. To see a nation saved for Your Kingdom and glory would make it all worth the suffering.
Do not let us give up our Hope in You, Father. Nothing is impossible - plant that truth deep in our spirits. Grant a special touch and measure of healing to those who are suffering in their bodies. Let our focus never rest on disease and disasters, let our focus always rest on You and Your Promises. When the world literally shakes to its core, let us not be shaken by anything that comes our way. We will love You and Praise You forever, dear Father.
In Jesus' Name I pray. AMEN. In Jesus' Mighty Name I pray. AMEN.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
"While I'm Waiting"
A wise Christian woman once told me, "God always, always answers our prayers. Sometimes he replies with a YES, sometimes with a NO and sometimes with a WAIT." With regard to deliverance from leukemia my answer has been, "Wait patiently, child." Only eternity will reveal to me why I have had to wait. I am certain God has healed my body over and over again, otherwise I would not have survived leukemia and massive infections for nearly 14 years.
The truth of the matter regarding waiting is that most people become impatient and give up right before their prayer answers arrive. How sad that the doubt and weariness planted by Satan often rob believers of amazing answers to their prayers. As the wait for a petition to be answered is delayed, Christians become angry, impatient, and stomp off on a path that does not lead to God's answers.
Learning patience in regard to waiting for prayers to be answered is a timeless trait and one near to God's heart for us to master. The Bible, from cover to cover, is replete with writings on waiting. If you believe that waiting on God is something new to our Christian walks, think again.
Psalm 25:5
Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day.
Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!
Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.
Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.
Psalm 130:6
My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning— yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint
Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
Micah 7:7
Therefore I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.
Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
As I wait for answers to prayers my mouth have uttered, I pray that my life models the lyrics of this John Waller song. I want to remain hopeful, patient, peaceful, and worshipful as I wait. I pray my heart will continue to seek to serve Him, even if it is only with my written words, penned with prayer and praise, as I await my answers.
Lyrics to While I'm Waiting by John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You
YOU TUBE LINK TO THIS SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
The truth of the matter regarding waiting is that most people become impatient and give up right before their prayer answers arrive. How sad that the doubt and weariness planted by Satan often rob believers of amazing answers to their prayers. As the wait for a petition to be answered is delayed, Christians become angry, impatient, and stomp off on a path that does not lead to God's answers.
Learning patience in regard to waiting for prayers to be answered is a timeless trait and one near to God's heart for us to master. The Bible, from cover to cover, is replete with writings on waiting. If you believe that waiting on God is something new to our Christian walks, think again.
Psalm 25:5
Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day.
Psalm 27:14
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!
Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.
Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.
Psalm 130:6
My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning— yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint
Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
Micah 7:7
Therefore I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.
Romans 8:25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
As I wait for answers to prayers my mouth have uttered, I pray that my life models the lyrics of this John Waller song. I want to remain hopeful, patient, peaceful, and worshipful as I wait. I pray my heart will continue to seek to serve Him, even if it is only with my written words, penned with prayer and praise, as I await my answers.
Lyrics to While I'm Waiting by John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You
YOU TUBE LINK TO THIS SONG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
Angel Gabriel
Recently while we attended an ice show, the conclusion featured an awesome ice-carved, life-sized nativity. Across from the main stable scene, was this large angel - probably 15 feet or more in height. The Angel Gabriel - Champion of God - grabbed my attention. My spirit leaped as I envisioned God's protecting angels - warrior angels - this large, surround my loved ones and me. Forget the little angel replicas we often see, I am believing that our guardian angels are as strong and mighty as this artistic interpretation.
In Luke we read: "When Gabriel appeared before Mary, he announced: 'Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her, 'Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!'
But when she saw him,she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. Then the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end'.”
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