Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Encouragement for the Soul
"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Don't bother to give God instructions. Just report for duty."
--Corrie ten Boom
"Get into the habit about dealing with God about everything. Unless in the first waking moment of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, you will work on a wrong level all day; but swing the door wide open and pray to your Father in secret, and every public thing will be stamped with the presence of God."
--Oswald Chambers
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Don't bother to give God instructions. Just report for duty."
--Corrie ten Boom
"Get into the habit about dealing with God about everything. Unless in the first waking moment of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, you will work on a wrong level all day; but swing the door wide open and pray to your Father in secret, and every public thing will be stamped with the presence of God."
--Oswald Chambers
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
--Corrie ten Boom
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sound Familiar?
2 Timothy 3 (NIV)
Godlessness in the Last Days
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
2 Timothy 3 (The Message)
Difficult Times Ahead
Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.
These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself "truth." They get exploited every time and never really learn. These men are like those old Egyptian frauds Jannes and Jambres, who challenged Moses. They were rejects from the faith, twisted in their thinking, defying truth itself. But nothing will come of these latest impostors. Everyone will see through them, just as people saw through that Egyptian hoax.
Sound familiar? Each time that I read and meditate on this passage of Scriptures, my spirit is moved. To consider that these Words were penned so many years ago yet remain current in their descriptions of our society, is truly a testament to the relevance of God's Word for all times. These passages read like today's newspapers. Self-consumed people focused on themselves and what pleasures them, versus focusing on God's Word and His plan for their lives, is common.
Take a moment and studiously read these passages from the NIV and The Message versions of the Bible. May we each take a highlighter and highlight the descriptive phrases that could have been written specifically to describe our actions or our behaviors. After we have completed this task in self-examination, let us each take the time to pray for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives to eradicate these negative traits that drive a stake into the heart of Jesus each time we fail Him and disobey His advice for our daily living.
Another way of meditating on these Scriptures might be to write, "As God's child, I shall ...." and then insert the polar opposite of each descriptive term or passage from these wise words written in 2 Timothy. "As God's child, I shall have self-control." "As God's child, I shall be a lover of God." I believe if each of us will study these life-giving Words and strive to refocus our lives in obedience to God, that our lives will shine brightly in a very dark world. And Heaven knows that this world needs to see The Light.
Godlessness in the Last Days
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
2 Timothy 3 (The Message)
Difficult Times Ahead
Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.
These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself "truth." They get exploited every time and never really learn. These men are like those old Egyptian frauds Jannes and Jambres, who challenged Moses. They were rejects from the faith, twisted in their thinking, defying truth itself. But nothing will come of these latest impostors. Everyone will see through them, just as people saw through that Egyptian hoax.
Sound familiar? Each time that I read and meditate on this passage of Scriptures, my spirit is moved. To consider that these Words were penned so many years ago yet remain current in their descriptions of our society, is truly a testament to the relevance of God's Word for all times. These passages read like today's newspapers. Self-consumed people focused on themselves and what pleasures them, versus focusing on God's Word and His plan for their lives, is common.
Take a moment and studiously read these passages from the NIV and The Message versions of the Bible. May we each take a highlighter and highlight the descriptive phrases that could have been written specifically to describe our actions or our behaviors. After we have completed this task in self-examination, let us each take the time to pray for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives to eradicate these negative traits that drive a stake into the heart of Jesus each time we fail Him and disobey His advice for our daily living.
Another way of meditating on these Scriptures might be to write, "As God's child, I shall ...." and then insert the polar opposite of each descriptive term or passage from these wise words written in 2 Timothy. "As God's child, I shall have self-control." "As God's child, I shall be a lover of God." I believe if each of us will study these life-giving Words and strive to refocus our lives in obedience to God, that our lives will shine brightly in a very dark world. And Heaven knows that this world needs to see The Light.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Another College Graduation
Today, I was blessed to attend our youngest daughter's college graduation. She received her Masters Degree at age 24. Her twin sisters will earn their Masters degrees in December. I could recall the ponderings I once had if I would live to see their high school graduations. Thank You, Lord for this life you have given to me.
For Kristin on the day of your May 8, 2010 graduation, I give you these reminders from Your Heavenly Father. I am very proud of you. I love you so very much but He loves you even more:
Joshua 1:9
...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Psalm 71:5
For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;
You are my trust from my youth.
Psalm 119:9
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your Word.
Psalm 119:105
Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
1 Timothy 4:12
Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
Monday, May 3, 2010
You Cannot
When I read these insightful statements this week, I realized once again, what a frightening course our government leaders have directed our country onto. The country I have always loved is being snatched from right beneath our noses. Will there even be a remnant remaining of the Country our founding fathers established for my grandchildren?
Many attribute these ponderings to Abraham Lincoln, however, others speculate that a Presbyterian minister, William J.H. Boetcker, as being the author. To me, these wise statements do not know sound like the transition to Socialism that I witness in our wonderful Democratic, Capitalist nation.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they will not do for themselves.
Many attribute these ponderings to Abraham Lincoln, however, others speculate that a Presbyterian minister, William J.H. Boetcker, as being the author. To me, these wise statements do not know sound like the transition to Socialism that I witness in our wonderful Democratic, Capitalist nation.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they will not do for themselves.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Update & Request for Prayer: April 23, 2010
The cough continues yet my temperature continues to hold steady. Today, the fungal samples from my lungs were sent to Texas for identification and sensitivities. This is such a long, drawn out process. In the age of modern medicine, I would think someone would invent a more timely method for identifying fungi and the medications needed to treat them. It is an eerie sensation, just sitting here, knowing that dangerous fungi have been discovered in my lungs and we do not know how to treat them. It is even more agonizing to know that my immune system struggles to fight any organism, especially the dangerous fungal infections. Praying for the infections not to run rampant as I wait.
I received Neupogen last night and will go to the hospital lab over the weekend for a blood draw to recheck the neutrophil (infection fighter) count. In reviewing my notes, when I last had positive fungal lung cultures, I began a 10 day cycle of the Neupogen injections as I awaited the results. I am contemplating this possibility as one way that I could intervene somehow as this waiting game continues. It seems that the Neupogen injections will offer my body a fighting chance at arresting the fungi, as I await the results that will tell us the specific antifungal drug that will be needed to treat the infections.
Most IV antifungals require 3-4 weeks of daily IV's. Last September-October when I last received the IV antifungals, it was a nightmare trying to access my very tired veins daily. We speculated at that time, if another lengthy course of IV therapy was required, that I would have to consider the placement of a PICC line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter). This catheter would be inserted into a deep vein that would lead to a vein near my heart. It would have the benefits of my not having to be stuck daily in search of an IV site. After being desensitized to a medication at the hospital or oncology center, I would then be able to administer my IV's at home to myself. This saves time and energy making daily trips to the infusion center, however, a PICC line will not be without risks - especially with someone as immune compromised as I am. The threat of an infection in my blood stream will exist and is of great concern. Please pray that I will know with certainty if I should have this procedure to insert a PICC line and that I will locate the exact physician and location that will provide extreme details to its insertion.
I will begin using the pain patches this weekend that the pain management doctor prescribed yesterday. Hoping that they will be helpful and allow me to sleep for longer periods of time.
An interesting, inspiring experience I had today - in the mail I received a package from Japan. I had read a Japanese study on immune system deficiencies. I had e-mailed the author of the paper - the leading immunologist in all of Japan - he graciously responded to my e-mail and offered to mail me a copy of his book that focuses on rebuilding the immune system. True to his word, my book was delivered today (with beautiful Japanese postage stamps). The Internet has opened so many doors for me with medical professionals from all around the world. Truly, one of the positive uses of the Internet. Thank you, Dr. Abo.
I received Neupogen last night and will go to the hospital lab over the weekend for a blood draw to recheck the neutrophil (infection fighter) count. In reviewing my notes, when I last had positive fungal lung cultures, I began a 10 day cycle of the Neupogen injections as I awaited the results. I am contemplating this possibility as one way that I could intervene somehow as this waiting game continues. It seems that the Neupogen injections will offer my body a fighting chance at arresting the fungi, as I await the results that will tell us the specific antifungal drug that will be needed to treat the infections.
Most IV antifungals require 3-4 weeks of daily IV's. Last September-October when I last received the IV antifungals, it was a nightmare trying to access my very tired veins daily. We speculated at that time, if another lengthy course of IV therapy was required, that I would have to consider the placement of a PICC line (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter). This catheter would be inserted into a deep vein that would lead to a vein near my heart. It would have the benefits of my not having to be stuck daily in search of an IV site. After being desensitized to a medication at the hospital or oncology center, I would then be able to administer my IV's at home to myself. This saves time and energy making daily trips to the infusion center, however, a PICC line will not be without risks - especially with someone as immune compromised as I am. The threat of an infection in my blood stream will exist and is of great concern. Please pray that I will know with certainty if I should have this procedure to insert a PICC line and that I will locate the exact physician and location that will provide extreme details to its insertion.
I will begin using the pain patches this weekend that the pain management doctor prescribed yesterday. Hoping that they will be helpful and allow me to sleep for longer periods of time.
An interesting, inspiring experience I had today - in the mail I received a package from Japan. I had read a Japanese study on immune system deficiencies. I had e-mailed the author of the paper - the leading immunologist in all of Japan - he graciously responded to my e-mail and offered to mail me a copy of his book that focuses on rebuilding the immune system. True to his word, my book was delivered today (with beautiful Japanese postage stamps). The Internet has opened so many doors for me with medical professionals from all around the world. Truly, one of the positive uses of the Internet. Thank you, Dr. Abo.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
URGENT Prayer Request: April 22, 2010
Please pray. My trusted family physician is in Florida at the medical acupuncturist convention. She just e-mailed and had been contacted by the local lab that my sputum culture from my lungs (submitted a couple of weeks ago) is growing out two different molds. This is not good when you are immune compromised like I am. The last time the mold specimens were identified from my lungs, I required three weeks of IV antifungals. My Infectious Disease doctor in Indianapolis wants us to have the molds identified and the drug sensitivities before he selects the next. I have developed these two positive fungal samples while already taking two antifungals.
I am neutropenic again and will resume the Neupogen injections today. I had found it unusual that I have been neutropenic for two weeks in a row, since the Vitamin B3 had been doing such a great job with my neutrophils. I had told my doctor this week that I suspected I have an undiagnosed infection since the platelets and neutrophils both crashed last week. Often times, my counts will drastically decline in the presence of infection. Pretty good analysis, huh?
I saw the pain management anesthesiologist this morning. He did not feel that with my counts, history of anaphylaxis and level of immune suppression that I would be a candidate for spinal epidurals for pain. He said the nerve damage to my lower calf and foot is permanent and not reversable (I know Someone who could reverse it). He prescribed pain patches that I will begin trying this weekend by wearing four at a time (24/7) and he recommended that I begin the narcotic pain medicine (that I prefer to avoid) that my family doctor had recently prescribed. I hope the pain patches will help since the epidural option has now been eliminated.
I am asking God to intervene if He knows I need IV antifungals sooner than later (when sensitivities are known); I am asking Him to protect me from invasive fungal infections; and I am asking Him to give my doctors and me wisdom to do what is in my best interest.
My family doctor said my local oncologist was also on the same flight with her - so my local medical team is in Sunny Florida!
Thank you, friends.
I am neutropenic again and will resume the Neupogen injections today. I had found it unusual that I have been neutropenic for two weeks in a row, since the Vitamin B3 had been doing such a great job with my neutrophils. I had told my doctor this week that I suspected I have an undiagnosed infection since the platelets and neutrophils both crashed last week. Often times, my counts will drastically decline in the presence of infection. Pretty good analysis, huh?
I saw the pain management anesthesiologist this morning. He did not feel that with my counts, history of anaphylaxis and level of immune suppression that I would be a candidate for spinal epidurals for pain. He said the nerve damage to my lower calf and foot is permanent and not reversable (I know Someone who could reverse it). He prescribed pain patches that I will begin trying this weekend by wearing four at a time (24/7) and he recommended that I begin the narcotic pain medicine (that I prefer to avoid) that my family doctor had recently prescribed. I hope the pain patches will help since the epidural option has now been eliminated.
I am asking God to intervene if He knows I need IV antifungals sooner than later (when sensitivities are known); I am asking Him to protect me from invasive fungal infections; and I am asking Him to give my doctors and me wisdom to do what is in my best interest.
My family doctor said my local oncologist was also on the same flight with her - so my local medical team is in Sunny Florida!
Thank you, friends.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A Prayer for Today: April 18, 2010
We celebrate You, today, Father … the Lord of our Salvation and Hope of our futures.
“This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24).
My heart leaps with joy when my eyes awaken to another day, Father. As Psalm 96 instructs us, enable and equip each of us to “proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day”. Those are our marching orders from You, Our Heavenly Father – remind us daily to go about Your Work of sharing the Gospel – allow our lives to preach the Gospel as clearly as Your Word teaches.
Forgive us of our sins and shortcomings. Enlighten us to the aspects of our individual lives that do not honor You, Lord. Make us and mold us into Your Almighty image.
Strengthen caregivers. Heal the infections that so many are battling. Allow those in treatment to be without complications. Restore families who are immersed in life struggles. Allow discoveries to be made speedily for the advancement of a cure for all of those battling cancer, diabetes and heart disease. For those who are losing this battle, continue to amaze the world with miracles that rescue and restore us. We ask for Your favor to rest upon each of us and our families.
Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life and the promise of life eternal with You, that is provided through our willingness to accept Christ into our lives. We are grateful.
In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray. AMEN.
“This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24).
My heart leaps with joy when my eyes awaken to another day, Father. As Psalm 96 instructs us, enable and equip each of us to “proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day”. Those are our marching orders from You, Our Heavenly Father – remind us daily to go about Your Work of sharing the Gospel – allow our lives to preach the Gospel as clearly as Your Word teaches.
Forgive us of our sins and shortcomings. Enlighten us to the aspects of our individual lives that do not honor You, Lord. Make us and mold us into Your Almighty image.
Strengthen caregivers. Heal the infections that so many are battling. Allow those in treatment to be without complications. Restore families who are immersed in life struggles. Allow discoveries to be made speedily for the advancement of a cure for all of those battling cancer, diabetes and heart disease. For those who are losing this battle, continue to amaze the world with miracles that rescue and restore us. We ask for Your favor to rest upon each of us and our families.
Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life and the promise of life eternal with You, that is provided through our willingness to accept Christ into our lives. We are grateful.
In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray. AMEN.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
An Update for April 17, 2010
IVIG went well yesterday (I forgot to update my blog supporters about that treatment!). I had the CT of my lungs after IVIG but we will not have results until Monday. The cough and intermittent fevers continue that I have fought for almost a month. Please pray that a fungal infection or Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia is not the cause of the cough.
Last Sunday I began running higher fevers. Sunday we suspected a UTI because my back pain worsened and my urine was very cloudy. We took a urine sample to the hospital Sunday evening and they performed a urinalysis and culture. The urine culture has not grown anything bacterial but it was very alkaline with lots of crystals. Unless something fungal grows out on the culture, I guess the UTI was not the culprit.
I developed a large fungal infection on my skin this week and required additional antifungal for that (for a total of three antifungals)! It is improving.
After seeing weeks of positive electroacupuncture results, my platelets dropped by almost 50 percent this week. We are quite puzzled. I am hoping it is not ITP, an automimmune disorder that leukemia patients can develop where the body attacks its own platelets. I am inclined to believe that my enlarged spleen is sequestering platelets. Give them back, spleen.
Also shocking, after weeks and weeks of not requiring Neupogen (after beginning the Vitamin B3), my neutrophils tanked and I will receive a Neupogen injection today (the doctor didn't want to administer it yesterday with IVIG since I react so strangely).
My local oncologist spent alot of time with me yesterday. It was the first opportunity I had to tell him that I had been told the "months to a year to live" news. He was visibly shaken as he has been my local oncologist for over a decade. He has told me that I have outlived all of his other patients with this "brand" of leukemia.
I told him of my scheduled trip later this month to the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Care in Chicago. He was supportive and realizes if I am ever to receive any additional treatment that I must strengthen my immune system. This Center uses an integrative approach - spiritual, nutritional, supplements, physical therapy, stress reduction and creative chemotherapy techniques. It was truly a miracle that my insurance case manager obtained approval for this consultation. Please be praying for us to receive helpful information on that trip.
I have been inquiring about a couple trials in Europe and will post more as I learn more about them.
This month has been extremely hectic. I began weekly physical therapy and Chinese massage two weeks ago. I hope to see improvements with the chronic pain. I did sleep two full nights after the Chinese massage so that was a relief for someone who never sleeps an entire night.
Last week I also had my annual eye examination. Good news! The pressures in my eyes had increased to borderline glaucoma levels due to the chronic use of steroids. Last week, my pressures were completely normal and there continued to be no signs of the leukemia infiltrating my optic nerves. Always music to my ears to hear this about my eyes!
This coming Thursday, I have a consultation with a pain management doctor to see if anything can be done for the four herniated discs/nerve damage pain. Please pray for him to be able to offer some sort of safe pain relief. I anticipated that he would want to put steroid injections into the discs, however, with a platelet level of 70,000, no one will touch me to perform an invasive procedure.
I am worn out just from trying to juggle all the appointments. I am thankful for everyday that my eyes awaken to another sunrise. I am focused on Him and His promises and not the predictions of doctors that say I might only have months to a year to live. Regaining that focus and striving daily to maintain my focus are strategic keys to living life fully in the midst of dire predictions. And I am only able to do these things by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and by His grace. Thank You, Lord.
Thanks for all your prayers. I know they are sustaining me - leukemia is demanding so much attention, appointments, and energy right now that it is a constant challenge to carve out a niche of life for living. I am sure many of you understand this ongoing challenge.
I remain hopeful and grateful to God for each day that He is blessing me with and for the perfect peace He Alone supplies.
Last Sunday I began running higher fevers. Sunday we suspected a UTI because my back pain worsened and my urine was very cloudy. We took a urine sample to the hospital Sunday evening and they performed a urinalysis and culture. The urine culture has not grown anything bacterial but it was very alkaline with lots of crystals. Unless something fungal grows out on the culture, I guess the UTI was not the culprit.
I developed a large fungal infection on my skin this week and required additional antifungal for that (for a total of three antifungals)! It is improving.
After seeing weeks of positive electroacupuncture results, my platelets dropped by almost 50 percent this week. We are quite puzzled. I am hoping it is not ITP, an automimmune disorder that leukemia patients can develop where the body attacks its own platelets. I am inclined to believe that my enlarged spleen is sequestering platelets. Give them back, spleen.
Also shocking, after weeks and weeks of not requiring Neupogen (after beginning the Vitamin B3), my neutrophils tanked and I will receive a Neupogen injection today (the doctor didn't want to administer it yesterday with IVIG since I react so strangely).
My local oncologist spent alot of time with me yesterday. It was the first opportunity I had to tell him that I had been told the "months to a year to live" news. He was visibly shaken as he has been my local oncologist for over a decade. He has told me that I have outlived all of his other patients with this "brand" of leukemia.
I told him of my scheduled trip later this month to the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Care in Chicago. He was supportive and realizes if I am ever to receive any additional treatment that I must strengthen my immune system. This Center uses an integrative approach - spiritual, nutritional, supplements, physical therapy, stress reduction and creative chemotherapy techniques. It was truly a miracle that my insurance case manager obtained approval for this consultation. Please be praying for us to receive helpful information on that trip.
I have been inquiring about a couple trials in Europe and will post more as I learn more about them.
This month has been extremely hectic. I began weekly physical therapy and Chinese massage two weeks ago. I hope to see improvements with the chronic pain. I did sleep two full nights after the Chinese massage so that was a relief for someone who never sleeps an entire night.
Last week I also had my annual eye examination. Good news! The pressures in my eyes had increased to borderline glaucoma levels due to the chronic use of steroids. Last week, my pressures were completely normal and there continued to be no signs of the leukemia infiltrating my optic nerves. Always music to my ears to hear this about my eyes!
This coming Thursday, I have a consultation with a pain management doctor to see if anything can be done for the four herniated discs/nerve damage pain. Please pray for him to be able to offer some sort of safe pain relief. I anticipated that he would want to put steroid injections into the discs, however, with a platelet level of 70,000, no one will touch me to perform an invasive procedure.
I am worn out just from trying to juggle all the appointments. I am thankful for everyday that my eyes awaken to another sunrise. I am focused on Him and His promises and not the predictions of doctors that say I might only have months to a year to live. Regaining that focus and striving daily to maintain my focus are strategic keys to living life fully in the midst of dire predictions. And I am only able to do these things by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit and by His grace. Thank You, Lord.
Thanks for all your prayers. I know they are sustaining me - leukemia is demanding so much attention, appointments, and energy right now that it is a constant challenge to carve out a niche of life for living. I am sure many of you understand this ongoing challenge.
I remain hopeful and grateful to God for each day that He is blessing me with and for the perfect peace He Alone supplies.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
God's Handiwork
Flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men or animals. Some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock. ~Henry Ward Beecher, Star Papers: A Discourse of Flowers
Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made, and forgot to put a soul into. ~Henry Beecher, Life Thoughts, 1858
'Tis my faith that every flower enjoys the air it breathes!~William Wordsworth, "Lines Written in Early Spring," Lyrical Ballads, 1798
I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.
~Claude Monet
I will be the gladdest thing under the sun!I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Afternoon on a Hill"
Earth laughs in flowers.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"
Photographs by Stacie
Friday, April 9, 2010
Safe
We reside in a dangerous, difficult world. It brings such reassurance to be certain of our relationship with Christ. As His children, we are never far from Him. Days of distress are eased when we run to His arms. He keeps us safe and loved and protected from the threats around us. He calms our hearts when they race with fear or anxiety. He is with us always.
Listen to "Safe" performed by Phil Wickham:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6c3CYdqTG8
Verse:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone
Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms
Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free
Listen to "Safe" performed by Phil Wickham:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6c3CYdqTG8
Verse:
To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone
Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone
Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms
Verse 2:
Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone
Bridge:
These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me
These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The Old Rugged Cross
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross
where the Dearest and Best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.
Refrain:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.
O,that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God
left His glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.
(Refrain)
In that old rugged cross,
stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross
Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.
(Refrain)
To that old rugged cross
I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then He'll call me some day
to my home far away,
where His glory forever I'll share.
(Refrain)
Lyrics and music by George Bennard
Thursday, April 1, 2010
This Question Just Amazes Me
Often I receive e-mails from people who read my blog and one of the most frequently asked questions they pose is: "How do you keep praising God after all that you have endured?" For me, I cannot imagine doing anything else except to praise Him through the darkest days, the most ferocious life storms. It is a survival technique for me - I cry out to Him in prayer and/or praise when everything around me collapses. God is the one stable, unchanging force in my life. He will never change. He will never forsake me. He alone provides the strength and courage I need for my life challenges. Never will I turn my back on Him.
May the praises of our hearts and the prayers of our souls always be to never give up on God because He won't give up on us. May we never be tempted (by Satan) to curse God and blame Him for difficult experiences. God allows us to pass through the deep waters so that we can better "swim" upstream during all of tomorrow's floods of trials and tribulations.
After catastrophe heaped upon catastrophe for Job, his wife remarked: “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9).
And Job's inspiring remark to her was, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:10).
These reflections uphold my beliefs and the words of this Mercy Me song - good times and bad times will comprise our lives. If we trust God with bringing us to the good times, we can trust Him even more to bring us through the bad times.
Enjoy these lyrics of the Mercy Me song, "Bring the Rain":
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain?
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
To listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU
May the praises of our hearts and the prayers of our souls always be to never give up on God because He won't give up on us. May we never be tempted (by Satan) to curse God and blame Him for difficult experiences. God allows us to pass through the deep waters so that we can better "swim" upstream during all of tomorrow's floods of trials and tribulations.
After catastrophe heaped upon catastrophe for Job, his wife remarked: “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9).
And Job's inspiring remark to her was, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:10).
These reflections uphold my beliefs and the words of this Mercy Me song - good times and bad times will comprise our lives. If we trust God with bringing us to the good times, we can trust Him even more to bring us through the bad times.
Enjoy these lyrics of the Mercy Me song, "Bring the Rain":
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You?
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain?
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
To listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU
A Prayer for Today: April 1, 2010
Mark 16:3-8 And they said among themselves, “Who will roll away the stone from the door of the tomb for us?” But when they looked up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away—for it was very large. And entering the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you.” So they went out quickly and fled from the tomb, for they trembled and were amazed. And they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.
Precious Lord,
We rejoice at the mention of Your Name! For You have risen from the grave. What a beautiful yet tragic reminder to each of us of Your life, Your death, and Your resurrection. As Easter celebrations approach, may each of us pause and reflect on the beauty of Your sacrifice for each of us on that rugged cross.
Forgive us of our sins, Lord. Build each of us up to reflect You in our words, thoughts, and actions. And as You gave that Great Commission after Your resurrection to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15) may each of us pause this Easter season and ask ourselves if we are truly accomplishing the purpose of this Commission. Equip us to present the Gospel to every soul who has yet to receive You as his or her Savior.
We are grateful for breath in our lungs this Easter to celebrate another glorious holiday with You. We are thankful for the many ways in which You care for each of us, each moment of each day. We rejoice that none of our tomorrows are hopeless when we live them with You and for You.
We ask that You continue to rule and reign over our nation. Rearrange and reorganize any political office that is filled by one who does not make decisions that glorify You. Protect our men and women in uniform who are apart from their families this Easter. And as that miraculous resurrection from the dead occurred in that ancient tomb, may each of our lives, our bodies, our hearts, and our minds be resurrected with new Life this week.
In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray. AMEN.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Those March Days Conclude
"It was one of those March days
when the sun shines hot
and the wind blows cold;
when it is summer in the light
and winter in the shade."
-Charles Dickens
when the sun shines hot
and the wind blows cold;
when it is summer in the light
and winter in the shade."
-Charles Dickens
A Praise for March 31, 2010
Well, do I ever have some impressive electroacupuncture results to report! I had my fourth session yesterday and we drew blood prior to the electroacupuncture, as we have been doing weekly.
My counts from the week prior to the first treatment and each week thereafter are posted below ...... look at this improvement with someone who has very worn out bone marrow:
My hemoglobin has gone from 9.6 to 10 to 10.3 to 11.4 (Normal range 12-16). Can you believe this improvement in 4 weeks and this is despite a tremendous loss of blood that I have had the past week. Even my doctor said yesterday it would be a miracle if my hemoglobin had even managed to remain stable this week due to the blood loss.
My platelets have gone from 82 to 85 to 99 to 131! I actually am now in the NORMAL PLATELET RANGE (130,000 to 400,000) per our lab's value ranges.
These improvements move me from Stage 4 leukemia to Stage 2 leukemia without the slightest trace of chemotherapy entering my veins.
I have some other concerns going on that I will post later, however, I just wanted to share this amazing report with all of you.
Thank You, Lord, for guiding me to this study! I appreciate all of your prayers.
My counts from the week prior to the first treatment and each week thereafter are posted below ...... look at this improvement with someone who has very worn out bone marrow:
My hemoglobin has gone from 9.6 to 10 to 10.3 to 11.4 (Normal range 12-16). Can you believe this improvement in 4 weeks and this is despite a tremendous loss of blood that I have had the past week. Even my doctor said yesterday it would be a miracle if my hemoglobin had even managed to remain stable this week due to the blood loss.
My platelets have gone from 82 to 85 to 99 to 131! I actually am now in the NORMAL PLATELET RANGE (130,000 to 400,000) per our lab's value ranges.
These improvements move me from Stage 4 leukemia to Stage 2 leukemia without the slightest trace of chemotherapy entering my veins.
I have some other concerns going on that I will post later, however, I just wanted to share this amazing report with all of you.
Thank You, Lord, for guiding me to this study! I appreciate all of your prayers.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
An Update & Request for Prayer: March 28, 2009
I am seeing some early, encouraging improvements with the electroacupuncture protocol (see earlier post). The steady decline in my hemoglobin and platelet counts has stopped - I would like to see much more improvement, but am very grateful for any improvement! Thank you for your prayers.
I have received three treatments of electroacupuncture total - the following lab results are from before the treatment began, after one treatment, and after two treatments.
My hemoglobin has increased from 9.6 to 10 to 10.3 (Normal 12-16).
My platelets have increased from 82,000 to 85,000 to 99,000 (Normal 130,000-400,000).
All things are possible for those who believe!
I have been studying the book The Whole Body Workbook for Cancer by Dan Kenner, PhD. I have made the decision to decline any further chemotherapy treatment at this time. Most of my doctors believe that my life is threatened equally by the decline of my immune function (and subsequent, serious infections) and the leukemia.
I know with certainty, that every remaining chemotherapy option that I have will further damage my already fractured immune system. So my current plan is to follow this new protocol with the intense focus of improving my immune function. If that is achievable, then chemotherapy could be reconsidered. If I cannot improve my immune function, it will be suicidal to consider more chemotherapy.
This new protocol focuses on detoxing the body. My doctor is ordering an extensive testing panel that will be drawn on Tuesday and sent to North Carolina. This should give us some valuable information on the function of my liver and what/if any toxins are accumulating in my body. Strict dietary rules and the addition of additional supplements are also included. Time for acupuncture, Chinese massage (I will resume in April), prayer, and exercise are also vital components of this protocol.
It is very difficult to make a decision that contradicts the recommendations of my physicians. I know their recommendations are based on the protocols that they are trained to prescribe. Yet, I sense that I have made the right decision for myself, for today.
I continue to fight chest congestion and a sample was taken last week - so we are waiting to see if it returns as positive for fungal growth in my lungs (never a good finding). That could result in IV antifungals again.
I have received three treatments of electroacupuncture total - the following lab results are from before the treatment began, after one treatment, and after two treatments.
My hemoglobin has increased from 9.6 to 10 to 10.3 (Normal 12-16).
My platelets have increased from 82,000 to 85,000 to 99,000 (Normal 130,000-400,000).
All things are possible for those who believe!
I have been studying the book The Whole Body Workbook for Cancer by Dan Kenner, PhD. I have made the decision to decline any further chemotherapy treatment at this time. Most of my doctors believe that my life is threatened equally by the decline of my immune function (and subsequent, serious infections) and the leukemia.
I know with certainty, that every remaining chemotherapy option that I have will further damage my already fractured immune system. So my current plan is to follow this new protocol with the intense focus of improving my immune function. If that is achievable, then chemotherapy could be reconsidered. If I cannot improve my immune function, it will be suicidal to consider more chemotherapy.
This new protocol focuses on detoxing the body. My doctor is ordering an extensive testing panel that will be drawn on Tuesday and sent to North Carolina. This should give us some valuable information on the function of my liver and what/if any toxins are accumulating in my body. Strict dietary rules and the addition of additional supplements are also included. Time for acupuncture, Chinese massage (I will resume in April), prayer, and exercise are also vital components of this protocol.
It is very difficult to make a decision that contradicts the recommendations of my physicians. I know their recommendations are based on the protocols that they are trained to prescribe. Yet, I sense that I have made the right decision for myself, for today.
I continue to fight chest congestion and a sample was taken last week - so we are waiting to see if it returns as positive for fungal growth in my lungs (never a good finding). That could result in IV antifungals again.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Prayer for Today: March 25, 2010
Heavenly Father,
Thank You, Father for being our Savior. Where would we be without You and the promise of eternal life? Life here on earth would be so desperate without that Eternal Hope. Thank You for sacrificing Your Son Jesus on the cross for our sins. May we never take that sacrifice lightly. Let us, during this Lenten season, reflect on Your Sacrifice and the precious, priceless gift of salvation that Jesus died for on our behalf.
If someone has not yet confessed his or her sins and asked for Your forgiveness and promise of eternal life, I pray today will be that day. Then and only then, will the heartache and sin of yesterday be replaced with the hope and forgiveness of today. For each of us who have made this commitment to serve You and to seek Your forgiveness for our sins and failures, forgive us if we have become nonchalant about this Great Gift, Lord.
Be especially near to those families who have lost a loved one and who are still grieving. Comfort them, Father. Replace their hopelessness with optimism. Impart divine wisdom to each doctor and researcher studying this disease. For many of us, we need a medical breakthrough. You are able. For those struggling with family decisions and difficulties, guide them and encourage them. Allow treatment to be given to fellow leukemia fighters with the fewest side effects possible. Allow our lives to reflect You in whatever we say, whatever we do, and wherever we go, Lord.
You are our Everything. In Jesus’ Name I pray. AMEN.
Thank You, Father for being our Savior. Where would we be without You and the promise of eternal life? Life here on earth would be so desperate without that Eternal Hope. Thank You for sacrificing Your Son Jesus on the cross for our sins. May we never take that sacrifice lightly. Let us, during this Lenten season, reflect on Your Sacrifice and the precious, priceless gift of salvation that Jesus died for on our behalf.
If someone has not yet confessed his or her sins and asked for Your forgiveness and promise of eternal life, I pray today will be that day. Then and only then, will the heartache and sin of yesterday be replaced with the hope and forgiveness of today. For each of us who have made this commitment to serve You and to seek Your forgiveness for our sins and failures, forgive us if we have become nonchalant about this Great Gift, Lord.
Be especially near to those families who have lost a loved one and who are still grieving. Comfort them, Father. Replace their hopelessness with optimism. Impart divine wisdom to each doctor and researcher studying this disease. For many of us, we need a medical breakthrough. You are able. For those struggling with family decisions and difficulties, guide them and encourage them. Allow treatment to be given to fellow leukemia fighters with the fewest side effects possible. Allow our lives to reflect You in whatever we say, whatever we do, and wherever we go, Lord.
You are our Everything. In Jesus’ Name I pray. AMEN.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)