A white blanket of snow welcomed me this morning.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
One Word Answers
My daughter sent me this quiz. You can only answer with one-word answers. Copy and paste this and try it yourself!
Yourself: exhausted
Your partner: husband
Your hair: curly
Your Mother: dedicated
Your Father: dedicated
Your Favorite Item: books
Your dream last night: none
Your Favorite Drink: Tea
Your Dream Car: Jaguar
Your Dream Home: Beachside
The Room You Are In: Great
Your Ex: none
Your fear: snakes
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? alive
Who you hung out with last night: husband
What You’re Not: healthy
Muffins: tasty
One of Your Wish List Items: health
Time: priceless
The Last Thing You Did: typed
What You Are Wearing: pajamas
Your favorite weather: cool
Your Favorite Book: Bible
Last thing you ate: Salad
Your Life: stressful
Your mood: serious
Your Best Friends: precious
What are you thinking about right now: pain
Your car: MKZ (do initials count as a word?)
What are you doing at the moment: resting
Your summer: hot
Relationship status: married
What is on your tv: news
What is the weather like: chilly
When is the last time you laughed: Thanksgiving
Yourself: exhausted
Your partner: husband
Your hair: curly
Your Mother: dedicated
Your Father: dedicated
Your Favorite Item: books
Your dream last night: none
Your Favorite Drink: Tea
Your Dream Car: Jaguar
Your Dream Home: Beachside
The Room You Are In: Great
Your Ex: none
Your fear: snakes
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? alive
Who you hung out with last night: husband
What You’re Not: healthy
Muffins: tasty
One of Your Wish List Items: health
Time: priceless
The Last Thing You Did: typed
What You Are Wearing: pajamas
Your favorite weather: cool
Your Favorite Book: Bible
Last thing you ate: Salad
Your Life: stressful
Your mood: serious
Your Best Friends: precious
What are you thinking about right now: pain
Your car: MKZ (do initials count as a word?)
What are you doing at the moment: resting
Your summer: hot
Relationship status: married
What is on your tv: news
What is the weather like: chilly
When is the last time you laughed: Thanksgiving
Black Friday
I made the mistake of venturing out yesterday, on Black Friday. For those unfamiliar with the term Black Friday, it is the Friday following Thanksgiving in America. The day is commercialized and focused on enticing holiday shoppers to come out in droves.
I stood, astonished, in the center of a mall. As news of economic concerns and alarm about credit availability, foreclosures, and the stock market fill every newscast and newspaper, the crowds seemed oblivious to these concerns. Shopping bags were bulging. Credit cards were swiped. An economic downturn was not obvious yesterday.
We are just a spoiled, materialistic society. For moments yesterday, I thought of those in our country and around the world who are in search of their next morsel of food or a roof to provide shelter from harsh weather. Little to them, does having the most stylish handbag or piece of jewelry, matter.
My own heart longs for a simpler life. Too much house only results in more time required to clean and organize it. Too many personal treasures rob us of money, add debt to credit cards, and take up space in our minds and lives.
I was reminded of this Scripture:
Matthew 6:19-20:
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
I stood, astonished, in the center of a mall. As news of economic concerns and alarm about credit availability, foreclosures, and the stock market fill every newscast and newspaper, the crowds seemed oblivious to these concerns. Shopping bags were bulging. Credit cards were swiped. An economic downturn was not obvious yesterday.
We are just a spoiled, materialistic society. For moments yesterday, I thought of those in our country and around the world who are in search of their next morsel of food or a roof to provide shelter from harsh weather. Little to them, does having the most stylish handbag or piece of jewelry, matter.
My own heart longs for a simpler life. Too much house only results in more time required to clean and organize it. Too many personal treasures rob us of money, add debt to credit cards, and take up space in our minds and lives.
I was reminded of this Scripture:
Matthew 6:19-20:
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
A History of Thanksgiving
The Pilgrims left Plymouth, England, on September 6, 1620. Their destination? The New World. Although filled with uncertainty and peril, it offered both civil and religious liberty.
For over two months, the 102 passengers braved the harsh elements of a vast storm-tossed sea. Finally, with firm purpose and a reliance on Divine Providence, the cry of "Land!" was heard.
Arriving in Massachusetts in late November, the Pilgrims sought a suitable landing place. On December 11, just before disembarking at Plymouth Rock, they signed the "Mayflower Compact" - America's first document of civil government and the first to introduce self-government.
After a prayer service, the Pilgrims began building hasty shelters. However, unprepared for the starvation and sickness of a harsh New England winter, nearly half died before spring. Yet, persevering in prayer, and assisted by helpful Indians, they reaped a bountiful harvest the following summer.
The grateful Pilgrims then declared a three-day feast, starting on December 13, 1621, to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends. While this was not the first Thanksgiving in America (thanksgiving services were held in Virginia as early as 1607), it was America's first Thanksgiving Festival.
Pilgrim Edward Winslow described the Pilgrims' Thanksgiving in these words:
"Our harvest being gotten in, our Governor sent four men on fowling [bird hunting] so that we might, after a special manner, rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as... served the company almost a week... Many of the Indians [came] amongst us and... their greatest King, Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted; and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought... And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WE ARE... FAR FROM WANT."
In 1789, following a proclamation issued by President George Washington, America celebrated its first Day of Thanksgiving to God under its new constitution. That same year, the Protestant Episcopal Church, of which President Washington was a member, announced that the first Thursday in November would become its regular day for giving thanks, "unless another day be appointed by the civil authorities." Yet, despite these early national proclamations, official Thanksgiving observances usually occurred only at the State level.
Much of the credit for the adoption of a later ANNUAL national Thanksgiving Day may be attributed to Mrs. Sarah Joseph Hale, the editor of Godey's Lady's Book. For thirty years, she promoted the idea of a national Thanksgiving Day, contacting President after President until President Abraham Lincoln responded in 1863 by setting aside the last Thursday of November as a national Day of Thanksgiving.
Over the next seventy-five years, Presidents followed Lincoln's precedent, annually declaring a national Thanksgiving Day. Then, in 1941, Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of each November as a national holiday.
As Americans celebrate Thanksgiving each year, we hope they will retain the original gratefulness to God displayed by the Pilgrims and many other founding fathers , and remember that it is to those early and courageous Pilgrims that they owe not only the traditional Thanksgiving holiday but also the concepts of self-government, the "hard-work" ethic, self-reliant communities, and devout religious faith.
--Author Unknown
For over two months, the 102 passengers braved the harsh elements of a vast storm-tossed sea. Finally, with firm purpose and a reliance on Divine Providence, the cry of "Land!" was heard.
Arriving in Massachusetts in late November, the Pilgrims sought a suitable landing place. On December 11, just before disembarking at Plymouth Rock, they signed the "Mayflower Compact" - America's first document of civil government and the first to introduce self-government.
After a prayer service, the Pilgrims began building hasty shelters. However, unprepared for the starvation and sickness of a harsh New England winter, nearly half died before spring. Yet, persevering in prayer, and assisted by helpful Indians, they reaped a bountiful harvest the following summer.
The grateful Pilgrims then declared a three-day feast, starting on December 13, 1621, to thank God and to celebrate with their Indian friends. While this was not the first Thanksgiving in America (thanksgiving services were held in Virginia as early as 1607), it was America's first Thanksgiving Festival.
Pilgrim Edward Winslow described the Pilgrims' Thanksgiving in these words:
"Our harvest being gotten in, our Governor sent four men on fowling [bird hunting] so that we might, after a special manner, rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as... served the company almost a week... Many of the Indians [came] amongst us and... their greatest King, Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted; and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought... And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet BY THE GOODNESS OF GOD WE ARE... FAR FROM WANT."
In 1789, following a proclamation issued by President George Washington, America celebrated its first Day of Thanksgiving to God under its new constitution. That same year, the Protestant Episcopal Church, of which President Washington was a member, announced that the first Thursday in November would become its regular day for giving thanks, "unless another day be appointed by the civil authorities." Yet, despite these early national proclamations, official Thanksgiving observances usually occurred only at the State level.
Much of the credit for the adoption of a later ANNUAL national Thanksgiving Day may be attributed to Mrs. Sarah Joseph Hale, the editor of Godey's Lady's Book. For thirty years, she promoted the idea of a national Thanksgiving Day, contacting President after President until President Abraham Lincoln responded in 1863 by setting aside the last Thursday of November as a national Day of Thanksgiving.
Over the next seventy-five years, Presidents followed Lincoln's precedent, annually declaring a national Thanksgiving Day. Then, in 1941, Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of each November as a national holiday.
As Americans celebrate Thanksgiving each year, we hope they will retain the original gratefulness to God displayed by the Pilgrims and many other founding fathers , and remember that it is to those early and courageous Pilgrims that they owe not only the traditional Thanksgiving holiday but also the concepts of self-government, the "hard-work" ethic, self-reliant communities, and devout religious faith.
--Author Unknown
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thanksgiving Table
The table is set and awaits the arrival of the people most loved and dearest to my heart. Each place setting represents a life that I love with all my heart. I rejoice that we can join together around this table to celebrate another Thanksgiving. Many of our family members have struggled or are struggling with serious health conditions. Each year that we can return to our Thanksgiving, my heart rejoices at the goodness of God to sustain us despite serious health conditions.
A Thanksgiving Prayer for 2008
Psalm 100
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him, bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures for ever, and his faithfulness to all generations.
Dear Lord,
We prepare to gather with loved ones to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. We praise You and thank You for all that you have done for each of us this past year. We are grateful beyond measure for You and Your presence in our lives. We come before You and enter your “gates with thanksgiving, and Your courts with praise!”
My heart is directed to remember those less fortunate than us. Most of us will be blessed with family, food, fellowship, and fun as we celebrate Thanksgiving. However, there are many who will suffer with sadness this holiday season as they celebrate their first holidays without a loved one who has passed away. Comfort these families, Father. There are others who are struggling financially as the world’s economies are shaken to the core. Remind each of us to place our faith and trust in You, our Provider. Provide food for the hungry, work for the jobless, health for the hopeless, and comfort for those crying.
Tonight, I come before You and seek Your will and your blessing on each of individuals and families who are facing difficult situations. You are a very big God and we are trusting in You!
Thank You, Father, for those who are away from their families to defend our country and our freedoms on this Thanksgiving. These solider and their families are making such sacrifices for our country. Protect each life. Provide for the needs of families left behind. Somehow allow these families to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving.
We love You, thank You, and praise You, Precious Father. In Jesus’ Name I pray. AMEN.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him, bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures for ever, and his faithfulness to all generations.
Dear Lord,
We prepare to gather with loved ones to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. We praise You and thank You for all that you have done for each of us this past year. We are grateful beyond measure for You and Your presence in our lives. We come before You and enter your “gates with thanksgiving, and Your courts with praise!”
My heart is directed to remember those less fortunate than us. Most of us will be blessed with family, food, fellowship, and fun as we celebrate Thanksgiving. However, there are many who will suffer with sadness this holiday season as they celebrate their first holidays without a loved one who has passed away. Comfort these families, Father. There are others who are struggling financially as the world’s economies are shaken to the core. Remind each of us to place our faith and trust in You, our Provider. Provide food for the hungry, work for the jobless, health for the hopeless, and comfort for those crying.
Tonight, I come before You and seek Your will and your blessing on each of individuals and families who are facing difficult situations. You are a very big God and we are trusting in You!
Thank You, Father, for those who are away from their families to defend our country and our freedoms on this Thanksgiving. These solider and their families are making such sacrifices for our country. Protect each life. Provide for the needs of families left behind. Somehow allow these families to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving.
We love You, thank You, and praise You, Precious Father. In Jesus’ Name I pray. AMEN.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
I am grateful for a President who is not ashamed to acknowledge the Almighty God.
"Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends to gather together and express gratitude for all that we have been given, the freedoms we enjoy, and the loved ones who enrich our lives. We recognize that all of these blessings, and life itself, come not from the hand of man but from Almighty God. "
– – President Bush, Thanksgiving Proclamation 2008
"Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends to gather together and express gratitude for all that we have been given, the freedoms we enjoy, and the loved ones who enrich our lives. We recognize that all of these blessings, and life itself, come not from the hand of man but from Almighty God. "
– – President Bush, Thanksgiving Proclamation 2008
Sweet Potato Casserole
For almost everyone who tastes my sweet potato casserole, they love it and ask for their recipe (with the exception of our son-in-law). Just in time for your Thanksgiving cooking, here is that recipe:
3 cups sweet potatoes, drained and mashed
1/3 cup butter
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 cup coconut
1 cup sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
TOPPING:
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 1/2 sticks butter
3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
Cream sweet potatoes. Soften 1/3 cup butter and add sugar and remaining ingredients (excluding topping ingredients). Place in greased 9 X 13 baking dish.
Make topping: Melt butter. Add remaining topping ingredients. Crumble over sweet potato mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
3 cups sweet potatoes, drained and mashed
1/3 cup butter
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 cup coconut
1 cup sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
TOPPING:
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 1/2 sticks butter
3/4 cup flour
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
Cream sweet potatoes. Soften 1/3 cup butter and add sugar and remaining ingredients (excluding topping ingredients). Place in greased 9 X 13 baking dish.
Make topping: Melt butter. Add remaining topping ingredients. Crumble over sweet potato mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Dancing with the Angels
The song DANCING WITH THE ANGELS is a favorite of mine. It is a great reminder for when we lose a loved one, if they are secure in their relationship with Christ, they will be dancing with the angels in Heaven.
Here is the You Tube link to the song:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zY5DvcWeIkQ
memories surround me
but sadness has found me
i'd do anything for more time
never before has someone meant more
and i can't get you out of my mind
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know
chorus:
you're dancing with the angels
walking in new life
you're dancing with the angels
heaven fills your eyes
now that you're dancing with the angels
you had love for your family
love for all people
love for the Father, and Son
your heart will be heard
in your unspoken words
through generations to come
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know
chorus:
you're dancing with the angels
walking in new life
your're dancing with the angels
heaven fills your eyes
now that your're dancing with the angels
bridge:
we're only here for such a short time
so i'm gonna stand up shout out
and sing hallelujah
one day i'll see you again
Here is the You Tube link to the song:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zY5DvcWeIkQ
memories surround me
but sadness has found me
i'd do anything for more time
never before has someone meant more
and i can't get you out of my mind
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know
chorus:
you're dancing with the angels
walking in new life
you're dancing with the angels
heaven fills your eyes
now that you're dancing with the angels
you had love for your family
love for all people
love for the Father, and Son
your heart will be heard
in your unspoken words
through generations to come
there is so much that i don't understand
but i know
chorus:
you're dancing with the angels
walking in new life
your're dancing with the angels
heaven fills your eyes
now that your're dancing with the angels
bridge:
we're only here for such a short time
so i'm gonna stand up shout out
and sing hallelujah
one day i'll see you again
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Birthday Reflections
Today I turn 45 years old. This is a milestone that doctors never believed that I would reach. In 1996 when I first became ill, our daughters were 12, 12, and 11. I recall stepping out of our car and the three of them were waiting with my Mom to learn what my bone marrow biopsy report revealed. As if it were yesterday, I can see their faces as I told them, as they met me at our car, that I had leukemia. I can also recall the days following that announcement where we all cried and prayed a lot. I had been given a prognosis of living 3-5 years and I knew that wouldn’t enable me to raise our girls and attend their high school graduations.
The first year after my diagnosis of leukemia was filled with confusion, turmoil, concern, and much prayer. With each slight bump in my white count, I would panic. Each enlarging lymph node seemed to be carrying my death notice. Little by little, I learned to trust God more and depend less and less upon medical science. We traveled to New York and Columbus and Washington, DC hoping to find a cure or a key to a longer life for me. It became apparent as I educated myself about the disease and my file cabinets filled with scientific journal articles, that there was NO cure for this type of leukemia.
Having been a strong-willed and minded person all of my life, that somehow spurred me on and made me resilient and determined that I would trust God even more with my life. That He would be my Healer and my Sustained became my life mantra. Slowly, the fear and panic associated with each doctor’s visit or bone marrow biopsy, subsided. I realized that God was (and is) my only Hope for surviving with this disease.
As the years passed, drug reactions threatened my life on several occasions and my immune system was quickly annihilated by chemotherapy and the disease process. Time in the Intensive Care unit increased. Yet, through Christ’s strength and encouragement, I continued to survive life-threatening infections and complications. I will never forget the night I was in Intensive Care, very ill with pneumonia, and I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal one verse to me that I could embrace. It was around midnight and I opened my Bible to Proverbs 9:11: “For by Me, your days will be multiplied and years added unto your life.”
That Scripture changed my life and my way of thinking about a terminal illness. It instilled in my heart and my mind that no disease, treatment, or infection has the authority to take my life, one day before God ordains. He is multiplying my days and adding years to my life – not medical science, not treatments, and not doctors. God has remained faithful to this verse that was revealed to me in that Intensive Care Unit.
I am the proud mother of three daughters and a grandson. I have attended high school graduations, college graduations, weddings, and the birth of a grandson. I am forever grateful to my Lord and Savior for allowing my life to continue to see this, my 45th Birthday. My husband and I have celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I only desire the simple things of life – a life rich and replete with family, good friends, and memory building.
Although my body is so broken and so full of pain and suffering, I am still able to walk, talk, think, and speak. Life is good and today I celebrate the wonderful years that I have been blessed with to enjoy and savor. Happy Birthday to Me!
The first year after my diagnosis of leukemia was filled with confusion, turmoil, concern, and much prayer. With each slight bump in my white count, I would panic. Each enlarging lymph node seemed to be carrying my death notice. Little by little, I learned to trust God more and depend less and less upon medical science. We traveled to New York and Columbus and Washington, DC hoping to find a cure or a key to a longer life for me. It became apparent as I educated myself about the disease and my file cabinets filled with scientific journal articles, that there was NO cure for this type of leukemia.
Having been a strong-willed and minded person all of my life, that somehow spurred me on and made me resilient and determined that I would trust God even more with my life. That He would be my Healer and my Sustained became my life mantra. Slowly, the fear and panic associated with each doctor’s visit or bone marrow biopsy, subsided. I realized that God was (and is) my only Hope for surviving with this disease.
As the years passed, drug reactions threatened my life on several occasions and my immune system was quickly annihilated by chemotherapy and the disease process. Time in the Intensive Care unit increased. Yet, through Christ’s strength and encouragement, I continued to survive life-threatening infections and complications. I will never forget the night I was in Intensive Care, very ill with pneumonia, and I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal one verse to me that I could embrace. It was around midnight and I opened my Bible to Proverbs 9:11: “For by Me, your days will be multiplied and years added unto your life.”
That Scripture changed my life and my way of thinking about a terminal illness. It instilled in my heart and my mind that no disease, treatment, or infection has the authority to take my life, one day before God ordains. He is multiplying my days and adding years to my life – not medical science, not treatments, and not doctors. God has remained faithful to this verse that was revealed to me in that Intensive Care Unit.
I am the proud mother of three daughters and a grandson. I have attended high school graduations, college graduations, weddings, and the birth of a grandson. I am forever grateful to my Lord and Savior for allowing my life to continue to see this, my 45th Birthday. My husband and I have celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I only desire the simple things of life – a life rich and replete with family, good friends, and memory building.
Although my body is so broken and so full of pain and suffering, I am still able to walk, talk, think, and speak. Life is good and today I celebrate the wonderful years that I have been blessed with to enjoy and savor. Happy Birthday to Me!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Lil Man is "A Goo" Boy!
I noticed that I had not posted an entry about Lil Man for sometime. It appears that the Blog has less content being added now that my daily Baby Bootcamp continues. Lil Man is a joy and a blessing. He smiles and melts my heart. His new favorite word is something like, "A goo". I looked in Greek and Latin dictionaries to see if he was throwing a new foreign word at his Grammy, but could not locate this entry. I believe it is best translated, "I love my Grammy. She is "A goo" Grammy!" Works for me ......
Today, I told Lil Man about what a lover of Christmas his Grammy is! Everyone knows that I decorate trees in nearly every room of our home and begin planning for the holidays weeks before the special day. Today, I put on Lil Man's Christmas sunglasses and read him a book about Santa. He said it was "A Goo" book! I took inventory of his closet today and he already has 7 Christmas outfits at Grammy's. We will be doing alot of dress-up. One of my favorite outfits is an elf costume for a 3 month old! It even has built in curled-up-on-the-toe elf shoes. He is about two feet tall -- the perfect height for an elf.
I love the snow and always walk in the first snowfall. We had our first snowfall, albeit a light one, on Monday. As I saw the first snowflakes floating across the morning skies, I told Lil Man that it was time to get bundled up so that he could take his first snow walk with his Grammy. He was oblivious to the cold and the snow, as I told him how much his Grammy adores fresh snowfalls. He thought it was, "A goo" walk!
Tomorrow, he will accompany me to the doctor for the first time. He promised me today that he will be "A goo" boy at the appointment! I will take him at his word since it is my birthday and I know Lil Man will do his best to make it "A goo" day for Grammy.
Today, I told Lil Man about what a lover of Christmas his Grammy is! Everyone knows that I decorate trees in nearly every room of our home and begin planning for the holidays weeks before the special day. Today, I put on Lil Man's Christmas sunglasses and read him a book about Santa. He said it was "A Goo" book! I took inventory of his closet today and he already has 7 Christmas outfits at Grammy's. We will be doing alot of dress-up. One of my favorite outfits is an elf costume for a 3 month old! It even has built in curled-up-on-the-toe elf shoes. He is about two feet tall -- the perfect height for an elf.
I love the snow and always walk in the first snowfall. We had our first snowfall, albeit a light one, on Monday. As I saw the first snowflakes floating across the morning skies, I told Lil Man that it was time to get bundled up so that he could take his first snow walk with his Grammy. He was oblivious to the cold and the snow, as I told him how much his Grammy adores fresh snowfalls. He thought it was, "A goo" walk!
Tomorrow, he will accompany me to the doctor for the first time. He promised me today that he will be "A goo" boy at the appointment! I will take him at his word since it is my birthday and I know Lil Man will do his best to make it "A goo" day for Grammy.
A Mixed Report
The eight weeks on the protocol I followed from the University of Washington researcher are now over. The results are mixed.
Initially when I began this protocol, I had a few weeks where my lymph nodes enlarged quite alot, however, they have reduced to a bit smaller than when I began this protocol. Since one of these drugs is considered to be an immunomodulating drug, we were always curious if it caused a mild case of tumor flare, as many using Revlimid (drug being recommended for me to use by my Ohio State oncologist) experience.
I did not notice any change in my very enlarged spleen. This had been my main hope that the spleen would shrink as it causes me such pain and discomfort. My spleen is misplacing many of my internal organs in the abdominal cavity. It prevents me from eating an entire meal and I have now lost over 50 pounds.
At the beginning of this trial, my white count was 92,700 (normal being around 5000). Yesterday it was 49,500. So that is almost a 50% reduction in the WBC, although it remains quite elevated. The WBC did drop as low as 37,000 but then I had an infection and had IV steroids with IVIG, so those events increased the WBC as they always do.
I normally always have 99% lymphocytes and 1% neutrophils. My differential yesterday was 90% lymphocytes (normal being 13-43%), 7% neutrophils, 1% monocytes, and 2% eosinophils. It has been sometime since I have had monocytes and eosinophils even show up on my differential. The cancerous cell line is the lymphocytes, thus the very high percentage of lymphocytes.
My hemoglobin was 8.0 (normal 12-16) when I began this treatment. Today it was 10.6.
The main count that I am concerned about is my platelets. They were 114,000 when I began this protocol and they were 68,000 (normal is 130,000 to 400,000) yesterday.
I heard from the University of Washington researcher this evening and he believes maybe I should try another 8 weeks of this protocol. Please keep us in your prayers as I make the next decisions as how I should best proceed.
Initially when I began this protocol, I had a few weeks where my lymph nodes enlarged quite alot, however, they have reduced to a bit smaller than when I began this protocol. Since one of these drugs is considered to be an immunomodulating drug, we were always curious if it caused a mild case of tumor flare, as many using Revlimid (drug being recommended for me to use by my Ohio State oncologist) experience.
I did not notice any change in my very enlarged spleen. This had been my main hope that the spleen would shrink as it causes me such pain and discomfort. My spleen is misplacing many of my internal organs in the abdominal cavity. It prevents me from eating an entire meal and I have now lost over 50 pounds.
At the beginning of this trial, my white count was 92,700 (normal being around 5000). Yesterday it was 49,500. So that is almost a 50% reduction in the WBC, although it remains quite elevated. The WBC did drop as low as 37,000 but then I had an infection and had IV steroids with IVIG, so those events increased the WBC as they always do.
I normally always have 99% lymphocytes and 1% neutrophils. My differential yesterday was 90% lymphocytes (normal being 13-43%), 7% neutrophils, 1% monocytes, and 2% eosinophils. It has been sometime since I have had monocytes and eosinophils even show up on my differential. The cancerous cell line is the lymphocytes, thus the very high percentage of lymphocytes.
My hemoglobin was 8.0 (normal 12-16) when I began this treatment. Today it was 10.6.
The main count that I am concerned about is my platelets. They were 114,000 when I began this protocol and they were 68,000 (normal is 130,000 to 400,000) yesterday.
I heard from the University of Washington researcher this evening and he believes maybe I should try another 8 weeks of this protocol. Please keep us in your prayers as I make the next decisions as how I should best proceed.
A Prayer for Today: November 19, 2008
Heavenly Father,
We come before You on bended knee. It is humbling to be in Your presence. To be able to approach the King of Kings and the Lord of Lord with our prayers and petitions is such an honor and privilege. I don’t know where we would be without You, Father. We praise You with our whole hearts.
Father, forgive us for the sins we commit and when we become wayward children. Our flesh lures us to thoughts and deeds that are not pleasing to You. Strengthen our spirits so that we are able to rise against sinful thoughts and deeds. Help us not to be led into temptation but deliver us from evil.
We long to be more like You, Precious Father. Let us be lovers of mankind and of our enemies. Give us your compassion for those less fortunate than us. Equip us to be ministers of the Gospel, wherever our feet might take us. Remind us that even in the chemotherapy room, we can be a light and a witness for You and Your Word. Let us be bold and forthright with sharing Your Message with a lost world.
We are a people in need, Lord. My mind cannot even remember all of these requests, but I know that you know each need. James 5:15 instructs us: “And the prayer of faith will save the sick…” I pray for all those battling cancer.
We are forever grateful for Your listening ear and Your concern for each of us. Father, we love You and praise Your Holy Name. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
We come before You on bended knee. It is humbling to be in Your presence. To be able to approach the King of Kings and the Lord of Lord with our prayers and petitions is such an honor and privilege. I don’t know where we would be without You, Father. We praise You with our whole hearts.
Father, forgive us for the sins we commit and when we become wayward children. Our flesh lures us to thoughts and deeds that are not pleasing to You. Strengthen our spirits so that we are able to rise against sinful thoughts and deeds. Help us not to be led into temptation but deliver us from evil.
We long to be more like You, Precious Father. Let us be lovers of mankind and of our enemies. Give us your compassion for those less fortunate than us. Equip us to be ministers of the Gospel, wherever our feet might take us. Remind us that even in the chemotherapy room, we can be a light and a witness for You and Your Word. Let us be bold and forthright with sharing Your Message with a lost world.
We are a people in need, Lord. My mind cannot even remember all of these requests, but I know that you know each need. James 5:15 instructs us: “And the prayer of faith will save the sick…” I pray for all those battling cancer.
We are forever grateful for Your listening ear and Your concern for each of us. Father, we love You and praise Your Holy Name. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
He's Walking Her Home
This is a beautiful song. I cry everytime I hear it played.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=x6L_FhOtPuk&feature=related
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=x6L_FhOtPuk&feature=related
A Pre-Birthday Celebration
Tonight our daughters hosted a birthday celebration for me. We had to celebrate a bit early since one of our daughters will be working out of town on my actual birthday. All of us went to a Japanese Steak House. The chef worked his wonders of tossing vegetables into our mouths, igniting large fires on the grills, and entertaining us during the meal. Lil Man's already-big-brown eyes grew even bigger when the fires ignited. It is always nice to gather around a table and share a meal as a family.
I was asked today what I felt this year with regard to my birthday. One word came to my mind and that is gratitude. I know with every day that I am given, that I have been blessed. I am past due on my anticipated "expiration" date by several years. I've lived for quite sometime at Stage IV leukemia and there doesn't appear to be many remaining treatment options for me. I am blessed and I am grateful for today and for tomorrow.
If, today, you allow thoughts of negativity, jealousy, gossip, worry, concern, or anxiety to steal one moment of your day, I would suggest that you stop and reflect on how you would be living today if you knew that your time was limited. I would venture to say that you would live very differently. Life is too short for petty problems. Take it from someone who knows!
I was asked today what I felt this year with regard to my birthday. One word came to my mind and that is gratitude. I know with every day that I am given, that I have been blessed. I am past due on my anticipated "expiration" date by several years. I've lived for quite sometime at Stage IV leukemia and there doesn't appear to be many remaining treatment options for me. I am blessed and I am grateful for today and for tomorrow.
If, today, you allow thoughts of negativity, jealousy, gossip, worry, concern, or anxiety to steal one moment of your day, I would suggest that you stop and reflect on how you would be living today if you knew that your time was limited. I would venture to say that you would live very differently. Life is too short for petty problems. Take it from someone who knows!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Snowfall
Snow falls.
I am lured outside to walk in the peacefulness calm of the winter white. The quiet is deafening as my feet sweep through the drifts blowing across my path.
The nighttime sky is punctuated with snowflakes, each unique in shape and size. The boughs of the trees are iced with a frosting fluff of snow dust.
I pause to look at the street lights magnifying the falling flakes.
My heart is lured to the edge of the woods. The front yards of squirrels, deer, and turkeys are powdered with precipitation. Creatures creep into seclusion.
My eyelashes flutter as the snow freezes on their tips. My cheeks creep with cold as my toes tingle with the chill.
Each snowfall, unique and enticing. My mind and body are lured outward to experience the sensory sensations of a winter snowfall.
I am lured outside to walk in the peacefulness calm of the winter white. The quiet is deafening as my feet sweep through the drifts blowing across my path.
The nighttime sky is punctuated with snowflakes, each unique in shape and size. The boughs of the trees are iced with a frosting fluff of snow dust.
I pause to look at the street lights magnifying the falling flakes.
My heart is lured to the edge of the woods. The front yards of squirrels, deer, and turkeys are powdered with precipitation. Creatures creep into seclusion.
My eyelashes flutter as the snow freezes on their tips. My cheeks creep with cold as my toes tingle with the chill.
Each snowfall, unique and enticing. My mind and body are lured outward to experience the sensory sensations of a winter snowfall.
Boot Camp Continues
No one ever could have told me how a toothless smile from a two month old would melt my heart. Lil Man is growing and smiling and talking to those who love him. Today I picked him up after I went to the doctor. He was allowed to go to his Mommy's office for an hour or so this morning until I could finish at the doctor. When he was put into my car, he gave me the biggest smile. He was proudly wearing his tiny John Deere tennis shoes that I had purchased for him with his "big boy" blue jeans.
We rock and walk. I show him the creations of God that are outside of our windows. We look at the sky, the trees, the squirrels, and everything with God's fingerprint upon it. We rock and pray. I pray for him to grow healthy and strong into a young man with a place for God reserved in his heart. We rock and sing. I offer praises to God for the joy that my children and grandchild have given to my life.
We rock and walk. I show him the creations of God that are outside of our windows. We look at the sky, the trees, the squirrels, and everything with God's fingerprint upon it. We rock and pray. I pray for him to grow healthy and strong into a young man with a place for God reserved in his heart. We rock and sing. I offer praises to God for the joy that my children and grandchild have given to my life.
The Game Called Life
Dying is a lonely, cruel game.
That nobody wants to play with you
It leaves your body broken, your heart hurting.
Further and further away drift those who should care.
No one understanding the pain tearing ragged rips
Through one’s flesh and bones.
Dying is a lonely, cruel game.
Eternal living is a joyful game
That many yearn to play with you.
Heaven reveals your body healed, your heart rejoicing.
Little does it matter if people drift away
Because the Savior understands it all completely.
He never abandons or hurts.
Eternal living is a joyful game.
That nobody wants to play with you
It leaves your body broken, your heart hurting.
Further and further away drift those who should care.
No one understanding the pain tearing ragged rips
Through one’s flesh and bones.
Dying is a lonely, cruel game.
Eternal living is a joyful game
That many yearn to play with you.
Heaven reveals your body healed, your heart rejoicing.
Little does it matter if people drift away
Because the Savior understands it all completely.
He never abandons or hurts.
Eternal living is a joyful game.
Cardboard Testimonies
I wept tonight as I watched the video in this link. Please take a few moments to view this amazing, silent testimony to the goodness of God. Sometimes the most difficult life experiences witness more to others than the most eloquent sermon ever preached. Silently walking in the confidence of Christ, even when death is knocking at the door, speaks volumes. These lives, broken and hurting, reveal the power, grace, goodness, and faithfulness of our Lord. All because of a piece of cardboard.
http://www.yourchurch.com/cardboard-testimonies/
http://www.yourchurch.com/cardboard-testimonies/
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