Unending Roller Coaster Ride

The unending roller coaster ride continues. On Tuesday, the Leukemia Lightning Bolt 'Coaster had raced up to the top of the largest hill. Some small improvements and receiving all of this arsenal of drugs without complications allowed for an upturn on the roller coaster ride.

However, late Tuesday, more reports sent the 'Coaster racing downward, speeding out of control and to the bottom of the hill. A third mold has begun growing out on my lung cultures. One of these fungal organisms is enough to battle - but not three.

Luke 1:37
For with God nothing will be impossible.

As the speeding coaster accelerated Tuesday night, plunging, plunging, my spirits plunged as well. On Monday and Tuesday, I was stuck with needles at least 12 times daily. Surgery to install a port or PICC line (where I wouldn't be stuck so many times), was discussed. Now, the general consensus is that this will only pose another infection risk to me. At what point will I say, "No more?" This is frightening because the balance has shifted a great deal this past year - where the battle to live and survive begins to pale in comparison to the hope and promise of Heaven with no pain and suffering.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The roller coaster ride zigs and zags through mazes of turns. Most likely, I will have to remain in ICU until Sunday. I will then begin 7 day a week IV infusions - it appears, unfortunately, that while weekdays will be continued at the oncologists' office. However, they have discontinued weekend infusions, so that will mean being readmitted to the hospital for weekend care. Please pray that this will all easily transition next week and that only the antifungal will have to be continued outpatient. If that occurs, then I can watch Lil Man and just need help with him a couple hours per day during the IV's.

Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.

All that I can do at this point, is to return my meditations to Mark 5:25-34 (AMP). This disease has induced great suffering and often times, the treatments themselves induce pain and suffering. In the midst of this heartache and pain, I will continue to place my hope and confidence in Him. Either path that this roller coaster ride pursues, will end in victory for me - either I will be healed and whole or I will enter the gates of my eternal Home.

And there was a woman who had had a flow of blood for twelve years, and who had endured much suffering under [the hands of] many physicians and had spent all that she had, and was no better but instead grew worse. She had heard the reports concerning Jesus, and she came up behind Him in the throng and touched His garment.

For she kept saying, 'If I only touch His garments, I shall be restored to health.'
And immediately her flow of blood was dried up at the source, and [suddenly] she felt in her body that she was healed of her [distressing] ailment.

And Jesus, recognizing in Himself that the power proceeding from Him had gone forth, turned around immediately in the crowd and said, 'Who touched My clothes?'

And the disciples kept saying to Him, You see the crowd pressing hard around You from all sides, and You ask, Who touched Me? Still He kept looking around to see her who had done it.

But the woman, knowing what had been done for her, though alarmed and frightened and trembling, fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth.
And He said to her, Daughter, your faith (your trust and confidence in Me, springing from faith in God) has restored you to health. Go (into) peace and be continually healed and freed from your [distressing bodily] disease.